I can’t help but take pics of myself in the morning.

Good morning, Internet boyfriend. I hope this sext finds you well. I am very lonely and sad that I don’t have any real boyfriends with whom to share my pics. The Neighbor would generally have been the recipient of this shot.

Speaking of whom, I watched a movie with him last night. He ordered us pizza and he couldn’t stop texting 4 am girl (she’s out of town), so I busied myself with my phone, too, until we both irritated the other so much we made a phone truce (though, he kept sneaking texts in). It was pretty ridiculous.

No hugs this time from me and I was very adamant about appropriateness. Honestly, I didn’t really have all that much fun with him. It was pretty boring just laying there next to him while he snuck texts to her and peeks at my breasts and legs. How cliché.

I have been talking to some interesting men lately, though, so wish me luck. I’m excited.

Hy

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Meh.

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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50 thoughts on “I can’t help but take pics of myself in the morning.
  1. Oh Hy. Don’t be blue. Change is always difficult. That’s why people avoid it, even when they know that what’s on the other end will be worth the effort.

    Your internet boyfriend (that would be us, as a unit) find you dynamic, compelling, witty, intelligent, generous, funny, sexy as hell and beautiful. We see you Hy, even without knowing your real name or having a visual of your face, and we like what we see.

    We wouldn’t be rude and sit there and send text messages to some drunk girl who pees her pants at awkward times.

    Your internet boyfriend would be delighted to spend time with you, happy that you chose us to enjoy a movie with you on a Friday night, just like a good boyfriend would be.

    Mike might lift up his cell phone to send a text, but you’d quickly find that he sent it to you, letting you know that you’ve given him a hard on. Deviant and I would be holding the camera for you to take pictures of your favorite moments. S, Petunia, Jayne and Kayla would really be listening to your words. All of our attention on you.

    Internet boyfriend is considerate and attentive, and knows what a prize you are.

    And someday SOON, internet boyfriend will encourage you and cheer from the sidelines as you meet other men and bring home your stories.

    There is a real man out there just waiting for you. When he sees you, all of you, he’s going to fall and fall hard. What man wouldn’t want a woman with all of the inner qualities that you possess, not to mention how gorgeous you are on the outside? In ancient times there would have been flowery prose written about you. Any guy would love to lick every inch of your body and cum inside of you as you drenched him with the reward of your pleasure.

    Have faith. But until then, use us as your internet boyfriend and smile.

    xoxo

      1. Sorry to hijack a part of this thread…did you send the request to view my blog? Is your username the same (mike)…

        We now return to the perving of our internet gf, Hy…u hot mama xoxoxo

    1. Aw, Ella, you are unbelievably kind and yes, my Internet boyfriend is that wonderful. I’ve been relying on him heavily these past few weeks and he’s done brilliantly in the face of my confusion and sorrow and I plan on keeping him around for a long, long time. xx Hy

  2. Oh my dear Hy! You are a vision of beauty! I could spend all day staring at you! That is such an adorable picture. I’m going to be thinking about you all day long now. I do believe a sight like this will spark a story about you. Hy you have a stunning body and you’ve got me drooling now!

  3. PS: Kyle and Gideon were meant to be included in the sentence about Mike. My fingers type slower than my brain thinks boys, sorry!

  4. You’re on your way – watching a movie with him and nothing happened. I must say, cold turkey is sometimes best – quick, clean…but since thats not possible, I do think a sticky separation does force hard lessons but you also gain steely resolve.

    1. Yes, steely resolve. I’m already steeling myself for any other hang outs in which I just say, “You know, this just isn’t as fun anymore. I’m sorry. You text 4 am girl the whole time and we can’t do what we used to do which is fuck each other’s brains out. It’s too soon. Sorry, dude.”

      1. For me, it’s extremely empowering – like a high – to be at that point of resolve. The messiness of a sticky, gritty release, sands resolve to a shiny edge. I don’t know if that describes it right but it’s something I got from having to separate while still having the guy near.

        1. That makes great sense, Jayne, truly. I did it during my divorce, too. While on the one hand this break up hurts almost more than leaving my husband, on the other it’s nothing compared to having to stay close to my ex for over a year as we fought and hashed things out. This is a walk in the park compared to that aspect of it.

          1. I guess I was recognizing you having to resist the awesome, power of the sexual connection as being just as difficult. THAT has an intoxicating, alluring factor for more that my situation doesn’t have. What you have to resist is orgasmic – What I have to resist can be toxic. There’s a joke in there somewhere!

          2. Ha! True. Which is why last night was so BORING. Just hanging out with a kid who doesn’t want me and who’s distracted by his phone is, literally, NO FUN.

  5. I’m in the process of immediate divorce of all internet boyfriends. I prefer my friends, like you My Beautiful Hy. Why, oh why, is life so fucking complicated. (you know I never use the f-word…it’s all getting SO out of hand. I can’t take it anymore.

    Is this not relevant. I’m terribly drunk. A swine.

    Bisous,
    Dawn

    1. Why are you divorcing your internet boyfriends? Are they not good to you?? If that’s the case, then YES, dump them! But MY internet boyfriend is all of my very sweetest, smartest, and wonderful internet friends, just like you, Sweet Dawn, all in one wonderful boyfriend.

      Do not divorce me! I love you. You are not a swine, though you may be drunk. I’ll join you soon :) xx Hy

      1. I’m thinking of putting an end to my quite flaky behavior because my pastime has inadvertently hurt someone. I had honestly only considered how much it could hurt me, yuno? I feel like the biggest loser. Are you drunk now too My Hy? I’m feeling a little ill…..

        I’ll never divorce you because I love you too. You guys are not my internet boyfriend, you are like my family.

        Love,
        Dawn, Homewrecker in Spite of Herself

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