I love search engine terms.

search_engine_stats

I should really keep up with these better. I remember once I got a couple of of hits for “ghost penis.”

Yeah.

Anyway, lets do line items.  That’s always fun before 10 am!:

  1. Yes, he fucked me. More than once, actually.
  2. I’m particularly proud of this one: 49ers tits.  What exactly was this searcher hoping to find, anyway?  I Googled it and couldn’t find a damn thing that led them to me.  I think they were looking for something like this, though.
  3. I never knew how many folks would be interested in house boy stories.  Apparently, there are a bunch.
  4. Yes, dear, it’s always ok.  Let him kiss your little pussy till the cows come home!
  5. Have fun and be sure to read my How To Fuck Your Neighbor!  Or do you mean it in a derogatory way, like, “Fuck my shitty ass neighbor!”?  Because if that’s the case, then I def can’t help you.
  6. Your bare pussy what?  Does it itch?  Do you like it?
  7. two men fuck each other:  These weird statement searches confuse me. Plus, there are, like, a gabillion gay porn sites with those words in the title.  How on earth did this searcher find my secret sex blog??
  8. how he fucking me hard: I guess even folks whose first language isn’t English deserve some hot erotica/porn, right?
  9. And lastly, my favorite one of the day: i love cock more than i love life. How Google sent them to me is a little bit of a head-scratcher, though.  I mean, I do love cock, but more than my life??  Probably not. I like to think I’m a little more well-rounded than that.

I always love these kinds of posts.  What are some recent and/or memorable searches you’ve gotten?

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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14 thoughts on “I love search engine terms.
  1. My recent favorites, all of which have pinged me with more than one search…

    * how many wiman want three somes
    * fuck morning
    * carrot penis size what ladies wanted
    * how to dress like an accountant

    But my absolute favorite… with two searches turning up my blog as a result:

    ass burgers syndrome

    (I dunno whether to laugh at the world or grow more cynical)

    Hiya, stranger. ;)

    1. HI!! I was just thinking about you yesterday as I was zipping around town and just now when I saw that you “liked” this I was so excited!

      Your search engine list is pretty spectacular. I should add a note saying that this is one of the few times that “neighbor” was spelled correctly (at least for us Americans). It’s usually something like “naybor,” or “neibohr.” So terrible.

      1. It’s been one hell of a… two months – and I’m not sure how much will end up public. I’ll drop you an email soon. ;)

        Other fun terms I’ve seen (I wrote a post like this way-back but never got around to completing it):

        * anal bleaching what kind of bleach
        * metric system sex
        * i hate u dave
        * how to poop in toilet
        * is gravity different in canada

  2. I was drafting a post so eerily similar, I love you! And I laughed a few times reading this!

    Colin Kaepernick dick bulge has been searched a few times with slightly different spellings and they made it to me, which is kind of awesome.

  3. Salut!
    What I never quite get is, if these search terms exist, does that mean that someone actually found us as a result? Some of mine make me feel sickened…and have nothing to do with me or with anything I have ever posted.

    There is one though that is so sweet that I might just write a post in it’s honor.
    I really liked your last one too!

    Je t’embrasse, My Hy on the Fly! ;)

  4. I have to admit…the ghost penis searches might have been my fault. I wrote a post on my blog (you followed me, best day of my life :P, but it has since been deleted) in early 2012 about losing my virginity and how I felt like I had a “ghost penis” inside of me for the rest of the day. I then went on to talk about how this was my favorite blog. Maybe not at all connected, but I had to go back to check my post archive to make sure…could just be a coincidence, I just find it hilarious :D
    -Tonguetied

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