I love big dicks and I cannot lie.

I talk about cock size a lot.  When I was on Tinder it was in my profile under something coy like, “I prefer gold wrappers,” or some such.  On Adult Friend Finder I’m explicit with my fantasy penis.  I want a guy who’s at least 7″ and girthy, like 5″+ around.

I’ve been called childish and rude and told I’m missing out on what a smaller guy can do for me.  The men who meet my preferences give me high fives and thank me for my honesty.  They like a woman who knows what she wants.

So why do I like them bigger? 

I find big cocks hot as fuck

I don’t know if I’m a product of the current state of society which seems to laud hung men or if I come by it naturally, but I am in love with big dicks.

They titillate and challenge me, they make me feel proud that I get to have it and that I can take it; I feel overwhelmed with desire when I see it jut at me, throbbing and bulging with veins so beautiful I want to cry for want of it.

When my hand wraps around it and my fingertips can only just barely touch my pussy pulses and my heart quickens.  I cannot help my physical response to a big cock — I simply cannot — and it feels good, oh so good.  Just the response, I’m not even talking about how it feels in me.

For many years I wasn’t cognizant of my preference.  I knew smaller ones felt different and often would think, “I wish I felt… more,” but couldn’t put my finger on it.  Then one day the stars aligned: I met Troy.

We lay in his bright living room the first Monday we ever knew one another and as I knelt at his feet and deftly unbuckled his pants he sprung out and my eyes widened.  “What?” he said.

“Um… you’re really big,” I said and fell onto him with my eager mouth.  I was old enough to know the difference and sexually awake enough to appreciate it.

He’d never cum from a blowjob until that day.  He didn’t know he was hung until that day.  It was a turning point for the both of us.

Size Queens

Troy had his own preferences and introduced me to the term “size queen.”   He launched a search for men on AFF to play with us who were bigger than him.  He’d watch me get fucked by these fellas and impatiently wait his turn to suck my juices off their long, engorged members.  Troy was a master at deepthroat and I’d watch in awe as the men would disappear down his throat like a sword.   Jack, Ryan, Max.  When he and I were over I knew I had a thing.  I was a size queen, too.

The Neighbor was bigger than Troy and even more talented with it.  I squirmed with glee when I noticed his bulge hardening under his silky basketball shorts, from the feel of his heat in my hand.  I loved that it made his jeans fit funny and that he couldn’t hide his size from the world, as if to say, Fuck you. I’ve got a huge cock.

I know lots of women — a majority, actually — who don’t care about dick size and prefer smaller and thinner penises inside of them than I do.   Big ones intimidate them or hurt once inside.  I don’t have either of those problems.

I’m built for big cock

Five years ago, at the tender age of 35 I was set loose on the world of men with a broken heart and a raging sexual appetite.  Together, Troy and I discovered the wonders of my body and I became a wet and willing partner at the drop of a hat.  His hands, his kiss, his breath on my neck.  It didn’t take much and my pussy would be soaking and he’d slip right in.  I eschewed lube and we never used it.  Instead I savored the stretch until he slipped around inside of me as I came and squirted around him, ruining our beds, rugs, blankets, and couches in the process.

After Troy there was Phillip who was a monster.  He’s the first man whose cock made me a little afraid, but I trusted him and it was spectacular.  He called me his dirty little Girl Scout and I came from the filthy words and being hung up on his staff.  The man barely had to move and I was writhing.  With Kent, it was different.  He was enormous, too, but the curve of his cock also hit my G-spot and I just sobbed into my pillows as he rode me to his climax.   And I could feel The Neighbor in my throat and skull through my pussy as he’d fill me up and take me to faraway places attached to his thrusting hips.

The thing with all of them was I got wickedly wet and lost my goddamned mind and if it weren’t for their size they would have been lost to me completely.  Physiologically, as a woman becomes more aroused, her vagina expands and cervix lifts up and out of the way essentially expanding rather than constricting.  I don’t know if I have some giant hallway-sized pussy or something, all I know is that my intense wetness creates a severe loss of sensation for me, so unless his cock is big, I’m not feeling him.  I’m told my pussy feels amazing.  I’m glad they can feel something while I’m lost in sloppy pussy outer space.

In addition to wetness, there’s also vagina depth.  The average is 3-4 inches in length unaroused, aroused it can nearly double.  I must have a deeper one than most if a man who’s 10″+ can fit in there with little to no pain.  Just the thought of taking in something that huge turns me on and, whether it’s true or not, it makes me feel special.

Size has nothing to do with character

How a man reacts to my size preferences, however, does speak to his character and self-esteem.  Calling me names and telling me I’m short-sighted is more about the man than it is about me.  I know what I want and I want it to be amazing for the both of us.  I want him to be excited by my excitement and for him to see the lust in my eyes, not veiled disappointment because I was told to expect something different. I want to feel him in me — I’m naturally desperate for it during the act of sex — and a man with a baby arm between his legs rockets me off the planet like no other.

When a man states very clearly that he likes a petite woman who’s fit I don’t call him names.  I just know I’m not the woman for him.  At best, I’m softly athletic, of average height with big, mushy tits — I’m an athlete in bed, but you wouldn’t know it to look at me — but he doesn’t need to know that.  I’m not going to argue with a guy who has a whole truckload of reasons behind his stated preference.  He’s entitled to it.  I also don’t want a man to settle for me.  Physically speaking, I want the man who wants me, just the way I am.  The man who wants a softer partner, with pendulous breasts that swing and bounce, and an ass that jiggles as he slams into it.

I want men to be ok with me not wanting them if their cocks are average or smaller.  Let me go find a guy who’s bigger and wish me well on my search.  I’ll wish him well on his search for a woman who thinks he’s perfect, too.  I’m not doing it to be exclusive, I’m doing it because it’s just what I want.  No one should shame someone because they have a preference be it for fake tits or BBW, hairy men or older blokes.  We all want what we want.  There’s no need to make it personal.

Love vs Cock vs Good Times

I’ve essentially shot myself in the foot having this ridiculous thing about me, this preference, because I also want a man who’s intelligent, funny, and kind, successful in his career, and above all else, interested in me.  Add to it the general ambiguity of dating, the trials and misfires and it’s an exhausting endeavor, which is why I’ve essentially taken myself off the fucking market (pun intended).  I’m tired of it all.

I’m tired of the emotional math necessary for sending texts or making calls, tired of the hoping and the waiting, tired of trying to untangle mixed messages and shot-down hopes, tired of looking for a man who wants me who also has a nice, giant meaty cock.  It seems vaguely impossible; I might as well buy a lottery ticket.

Luckily, I’m perfectly capable of just chillin’ and fully enjoying myself with a man who isn’t related to a donkey.  I’ve had some really pleasurable evenings with these guys and walked away sated, smiling like a fool.  I’m an equal-opportunity dater, I just have a preference.  It doesn’t mean you have to be my dream cock.  If you’re a great guy, I’ll still think you’re great and you might even win my heart.

I’ll never rule out love with someone based on the size of his penis, but it would certainly be a boon for me if I loved a man who had one that was made for me.

I don’t know what other size queens think about their needs and wants, I only know about mine.  It’s born out of lust, pride, and physiological necessity.  It’s not meant to make anyone feel badly.  It’s only meant to make me feel good, both inside and out.  I sincerely hope that we all find our perfect match in whatever sizes we want.

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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45 thoughts on “I love big dicks and I cannot lie.
        1. Very thoughtful, lots of things to chew on, and very well-written! I appreciate his response very much and am formulating and follow-up of some kind of my own. xx Hy

  1. My husband is a bit too big for me, but I can handle him better than his previous partner (who gave him a negative complex).
    Penis preference is so individualized and intimate, and it should not be disregarded or criticized. We like what we like. We can handle and feel better at different sizes. That’s the beauty of all those potential-lovers.
    I’m sorry you’re being criticized for that, that’s too bad. I think it’s amazing for someone to know what they like/prefer.
    Cammies on the Floor recently posted…30 Days: Day 1My Profile

    1. Every big man I’ve been with has a story like that where he was made to feel deformed or like a monster. Without exception they’ve all been careful lovers, very attentive to their size and the women on them.

      And you’re right! It’s so personal and different for everyone!

  2. No different than me saying I prefer big breasts…and small breasted women won’t work for me. That’s on me, but I’m okay with it. Cheers to you and your choices!

  3. I am part of your “big dick” sisterhood! My affair partner/now legit BF ruined me with his generously sized beautiful dick. I don’t feel bad for finally understanding what I need in bed–instead I feel liberated. We all make choices based on attraction and preferences. Women shouldn’t feel guilty for recognizing what we want. And we don’t all want the same thing. That’s the beauty of it

    1. That is the beauty of it. Men — who are usually the ones who set the rules/standards — don’t like it when we voice ours. It’s never anything personal, even when they have a preference. But it’s nice to just relax and own it. And congrats on having what you want :)

  4. We’ve all got our things! Someone asked me if I have a preference in cock size. Nope, not as long as they know what they’re doing with what they have. You’re entitled to your size preference because it’s what makes sex good for you. I’d be curious to try a big one sometime…
    Cara Thereon recently posted…Relax #BoobdayMy Profile

  5. You shouldn’t feel bad for what you like or need. Unfortunately as a guy who is average sized at best, my experience has been that the vast majority of women are naturally size queens, or they’re would be size queens who just haven’t experienced a large guy yet to know how much more they’ll like it. I’d never shame a woman for that, but it does get discouraging sometimes to know I’m usually the guy she’s settling for, at least sexually.

    1. Nate, this makes me so sad to read, but it makes me wonder if you’re not in your head about it a little. I am an anomaly among nearly all of the women I know. What are the odds that you’d find and become intimate with only would-be size queens? Why not trust them when they say they love your cock or that it feels good?

      I tried really hard to explain what my preference was about and it wasn’t meant to support this idea that “all women are secretly size queens.” It’s a complicated, personal issue.

      Please, I hope you don’t feel worse about this. That wasn’t what this was supposed to be about.

      1. No, I know you weren’t trying to make anyone feel bad, and I’m sure there are women for whom it’s not a dealbreaker. It just happens to line up with several of my personal experiences, as well as talking to female friends about their sex lives. The recurring theme seems to be that all other things being equal, most women would prefer the guy be bigger than average, and less than that is something they might settle for but not prefer.

        I’ve accepted that it is what it is, and done what I can to make up for it where I can with other things in bed and with my personality. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t often wish I was one of those men you described.

        1. But I’m telling you NO ONE BUT ME in my world prefers bigger. Of course my world is small, but seriously, all the women I know like average to smaller. What circles do you run in?! 😉

          1. I run in your circle too!!! And luckily I tend to bump into some pretty large cocks along the way!! :-)

  6. I have a confession, when I began reading your post, I was thinking ‘really? it’s that important…?’ and how I dislike men who do judge sexual performance based on body parts… I was surprised by your post… As I carried on reading I was thinking what’s the difference between what you’re saying and those men? Perhaps preferences for different size breasts or arses is that they are indirectly connected to sexual pleasure and performance, but are used often as an excuse to judge women and condemn them socially… the size of my breasts doesn’t stop someone being pleasured by me (although the breast blowjob thing is very silly/pointless so if that’s a man’s thing to get off on I am not that woman)… In contrast the size of a mans cock ‘can’ be directly connected, as it is for you, to sexual pleasure – in all the ways you say. Secondly, you’re not judging a blokes sexual performance or effort or ability to give pleasure by his cock size, simply acknowledging the unbridled pleasure of finding ‘that’ fit, so that in a way less overt effort is required to turn you on but not that you can’t be under smaller circumstances. Thirdly, I was thinking, hold on girl (me) who the hell are you to judge/say comment on another’s sexual preference? there’s no harm but bruised egos. So surely I should be respecting Hyacinth here for owning her body, seeking her pleasure, and acknowledging the real pleasure in the body… and acknowledging the importance of mind, body and emotions coming together in sex n love … so by the end of the post I was like, yeah, go you! You know what you need, don’t compromise. So thank you for helping me understand a bit more why size is important to some.

    1. Thanks, Twig, I’m glad you were patient with me. This issue is so multi-layered. Men have been in power for so long and have dictated what is sexy/attractive that our hackles get raised any time we see it. It’s subversive to see a woman say, “I want ______ in a man to feel X.” We’re completely comfortable hearing a man say, “I want my woman young, nubile, and with huge titties to feel good,” and it sticks in our craw (as it should). But, yeah, ultimately it’s not a personal thing to own a preference. Even for men. xx Hy

      1. Thanks yes you’re right about the power that men have in general to judge a woman by her body, but I am not sure society is entirely comfortable with it anymore – although the case of a dentist being allowed to sack his dental nurse for being too attractive as he feared she’d tempt him into sin as was in one of the American States last year tells me I am wrong… Ok ok in my little world I would like… But even then I am not a pure Sapiosexual so yes bodies do matter… And round and round I go :) probably time for bed. Night. Humbly Twigs

  7. I am a size queen! I’m not saying its a deal-breaker (re: Nate) and I’ve been with plenty of guys that were not very big, BUT the hubbs is nice and big, a grower and a shower and I gotta say, I’m happy! He’s also got a curve, which is AH MAH ZING!! But I’ve had excellent lovers that I could have easily had sex with for a very very long time that didn’t have the biggest cocks I’d seen.
    Would I prefer big………. oh yeah, always.

  8. Hyacinth, as a reader but never a commenter, I want to chime in that if you like them big, so damned big that they barely fit and you need an ice pack the next day…fine. Get what you want and do with it what you will.

    Women are not supposed to have physical preferences–they are guidelines, not hard-n-fast rules. A woman might like tall skinny blondes but if a short muscular brunette wanders by, she is expected to investigate him. Women especially are not supposed to spend precious time pursuing and encouraging the biggest dicks on the block to screw them unconscious.

    Certain things do give immense pleasure, pun intended, over others. That is why chocolate cake tend to be more adored than brussel sprouts. No hatred for sprouts, mind you.

    If you need/want x amount of inches, then you do. Simple as that.

    May you long (and wetly) reign, Size Queen.
    Liras recently posted…Coded|BrokenMy Profile

  9. I love this post so much. I feel compelled to share it with my friends on fetlife. May I? I think it is honest. It is raw. I really appreciate that you took the time to write this. I agree. Why is it that we are pressured to say that “size doesn’t matter?” I just find that ludicrous. As you say, men love big tits…. No one has auto accidents passing by a woman flashing mosquito bites. How many auto accidents have been logged for women flashing huge melons??? (I’m sure some insurance adjusters at Farmers are clear on this number). Anyway, if you don’t mind, please let me know if you’re okay with me sharing. ;)

  10. “I want men to be ok with me not wanting them if their cocks are average or smaller.”

    I’ve got a 4.5 incher and on the thin side. It used to bother me, but now I find nothing hotter than a woman who prefers big cocks! I’m so glad more women are going in that direction, hopefully they all do someday :)

    Btw, I’m married and my wife loves me to death but she does sleep with other guys from time to time and I usually wear a penis extender when we have sex.

    Great post, thanks for sharing!!

    1. That’s really great to hear, Chris! There’s nothing wrong with a smaller dick. There are tons of women who lust after them and I’m so happy to hear you’re confident and happy with what you’ve got.

  11. Hyacinth,

    This HAS to be one of the best most positive posts/articles I’ve ever read on cock size. Thank you! I must also say that your RAW honesty about sexuality, sensuality, erotica, and primal instincts (that everyone has) is utterly refreshing!

    Your post resonates with me a lot. Like you, I too have a few preferences in my woman/partner, and as the cliché goes: “What’s good for the goose is just as good for the gander.” Seriously! What is wrong with share and share alike??? I have a preference for petite women — for specific reasons — however, with that preference comes the typical response from them: “Oh hell no that’s NOT going in my ass!” So it’s a give and take… always. For her preferences I gladly embrace them, because there are ALWAYS things I can learn (over time)… and then there will be some techniques or differences that I simply cannot perform; it’s not my taste, etc. On a planet of 7.4+ billion why is it SO DIFFICULT to accept (statistically!) that individuals have various differences!? Furthermore, many of the differences can absolutely be learned, modified, refined by others! All you’ve done is become MORE for your Lover(s)/Partner(s)! Right?

    The term is called Compersion. Learn it. Live it.

    A great post Hyacinth! Thank you! <3

  12. I have a weird infatuation with size queens too. It’s a bit upsetting at times. But I’m ok with it. I don’t bash the women for it. The whole size matters thing is really interesting to me. And kinda hot. I’m pretty much a straight male. But am into reading about women being able to discuss it openly. Good for you . love hearing all this talk . hope not too creepy

  13. I have a real bell ringer. I never actually realized how well endowed I am until I met my friend with benefits. She thought her husband was hung until she met me. He is thrilled that I can get her off so many times.

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