I got catfished.

Hy b&w nude
Believe it or not, this is actually me.

He lured me in with a picture of broad shoulders and six-pack abs, the kind a genetically gifted desk-jockey might have, not a gym rat.  I wrote about how our exchanges convinced me he was safe and real and I excitedly worked through my own reservations about meeting a stranger for sex.

To be honest, I struggled to not be turned completely off by his crass texts about my pussy, but what did I know?  Maybe this is what happened on Craigslist.

He arrived at the darkened bar 3″ shorter and with a small paunch that surely was just a result of bad posture.  I struggled to make it fit with what he’d shown me in his photos.

Back at his hotel he smoked nearly an entire joint by himself.  I sipped on cold white wine.  His pants came off and he stood in dark underwear looking at me expectantly and when he pulled his shirt up and over his head I stopped short.

This was definitely not the man I had messaged.  No way, no how.

“Wait a minute,” I said.  “That main pic you had on your ad wasn’t you, was it?”

He admitted it wasn’t, but that all the rest had been.

“Why did you do that??” I asked incredulous.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?  And all the rest of the pics were real.”

I didn’t believe him on that count, either, but I had a decision to make: Get laid?  Or leave?  But leaving felt impossible.  I was already waist deep in the river, so to speak.  I wanted to get laid.

I told him it was shitty to lie, but did so as I pulled my own shirt off.  Maybe he wasn’t lying about his cock.

But you can guess the outcome of that gamble.  He lied about that, too.

Our bodies tangled and touched as I went through the motions.  He begged me to not use a condom, but I refused.  He whined when he couldn’t stay hard and blamed me for being too intimidating.  He instructed me to lay still.  “Limp?” I said looking up at him.

“Yeah, don’t move.”

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.

I laid there like a starfish while he pumped against the soft flesh of my inner thighs.  He came and seemed proud of himself.

He came again, I came some, and when it was over I used Postmates to bring us some food.  I paid.

I enjoyed the burger more than the sex.

The following day he texted.  I ignored him.

I thought I was immune to a ruse such as this.  I pride myself on noticing the little things.   Things like hotel floors and toiletries.  I look for tattoos, consistencies in physical traits, and dominant hands taking into account the use of mirrors.

One thing I didn’t do was check TinEye, but it never occurred to me that someone would go such lengths on the mere chance that he might get laid.  I’m a woman of truth and honesty, integrity, even.  Apparently I’m also ridiculously, stupendously naive.

But his game of odds worked because I put out. I was too far into the night and deep into the waters, too determined to fuck to leave.  I cut off my nose to spite my face on this one.

This won’t happen to me again, but it makes me wonder what it is I actually know about men and dating and the fucking bloody internet.  Not only was the evening a waste of my time, but my ego is bruised.  I thought I was smarter than all this nonsense.

 

Click the lips below to see more sexy images:

Sinful Sunday

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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43 thoughts on “I got catfished.
  1. Ugh :(. I’m so sorry, that sounds completely shitty.

    I’ve had some who I’ve caught out before meeting (I ALWAYS search for their pictures if they are really cute/fit/etc), and the thing that boggles my mind is that when I called them out on it:
    a) they will try and lie their way through, but if I’m not having it
    b) they genuinely see nothing wrong with it (like your dude): “Hey, I look pretty much like that!” or “But you wouldn’t have talked to me otherwise” or some other bullshit as if that makes lying completely alright.

    WTF?!

    As a tip: I’ve found that Google image search turns up more results than tineye.

    Ferns
    Ferns recently posted…Le 5 star French book review!My Profile

    1. I’ll have to remember to use Google image search, too. Seems like such a strange way to spend your time (as one who catfishes people). But then again, this dude got what he wanted from me, so I’m just proof that it can work.

      And, I know. I so wish I’d just walked out at that point, but we were already on the downhill slide of the evening and I didn’t feel like putting forth the effort to stop. *sigh* Lesson learned…

  2. As a very frequent recipient of being ‘catfished’ by women on CL, I’ve learned to be very, very selective. Even still, CL women here in this area are mostly not at all what they say or even appear they are. Sorry you got so ‘fished’, but it happens to men also.

    1. I think that we catfish due to insecurities; we’re afraid to show what we really look like, but it’d be so much better if we attracted the kinds of people who are actually attracted to us!

  3. Been there, done that, and no it’s never fun when they lie and use pics not of their own.
    I’ve gotten wiser over the last couple of years, and I won’t put up with fakes anymore, much less even meet them now days. Hate having my time wasted!
    Sorry this happened to you Hy.
    May your next conquest be all that he says he is, sexy, attractive, nice, fun AND hung! And may he live up to his pics too.

  4. I’m sorry it happened. I never had it go that far. I receive requests on FB more often than not, but I never friend someone I don’t at least have some common friends with and who doesn’t engage with me through communication.
    I think this may be a lesson that, no matter how ready you are to have sex, the sort of sex you can have with a man who lied to you to get in your pants is probably not going to be very satisfying, as this guy is obviously so self centered (doesn’t see what’s wrong with lying) that he doesn’t care about you enjoying that bit either.
    Considering you like hung men and had absolutely no connection to this guy (by his own fault), I probably would left when I saw he wasn’t what I was expecting.
    Too bad for him to have to suffer through getting naked in front of a stranger and then being rejected for *all* that he is.

    As I think you know, I’m not a size queen. But if a small cock isn’t your preference and the guy is a douche? I’d have no problem turning around. Says the woman who probably would have felt like “Well, I’ve come so far, I probably should go through with it”. Can you tell there are still two women buried inside, a bold, self-respecting one and one who is still that gal who got abused in her marriage for decades… sigh!

    For me, when there is a connection, I truly don’t care that much about the size of your cock. But if you’re trying to play me? Ugh!

    Though some men think that, just because they’re hung, any woman should be grateful for them. These are just a different sort of dicks 😉

    Forget about this guy, if not for the lesson. He doesn’t deserve any more of your time!

    Oh, and… Hugs, gentle hugs. You’re not silly for having let this happen. You just needed a reminder 😉
    XO
    Dawn D recently posted…Open Up!My Profile

    1. He’s been forgotten! And I’m going to work on my indignation. It’s funny to me that the women so far who’ve said they’d have walked away from him aren’t American! I’m telling you, for all our reputation of being boars and coarse, we are very polite people!! Especially American women! lol

      1. The key is to be kind to yourself Hy, always.
        The other issue that most of us have, is that we are brought up to be polite. When we are faced with the possibility of offending someone, we use avoidance, even if it means we put ourselves in awkward or even dangerous situations.

  5. Oh poor Hy, but as most others here, I’ve been catfished too, twice actually. Neither date went anywhere as I was too pissed off to put out. & yep, they see no harm in it obviously, karma is on it’s way to him. 😂

  6. First of all, this photo is incredibly gorgeous. The light is amazing and lovely, almost angelic. As for the incident I’m so sorry this happened. I’ve been in a similar situation and its so annoying, having your good nature preyed upon.
    MariaSibylla recently posted…Licking the bowlMy Profile

  7. Let’s face it, Hy: no one is infallible. So you got fooled, so what? You’re made of strong stuff, you’ll be fine. As always, you saw the humor in a ridiculous situation and you got through it (how I’ll never know), in style.

    You’re a strong woman.
    You’re smart woman.
    You’re an absolutely unbelievably beautiful woman.
    You can take whatever the world dishes out and still smile afterwards.

    Onward and upward, young lady.

    1. what the Hook says, and yes gorgeous pic.
      I have a different worry, I am who I am, but I select the good bits of me to show and post… I always worry what if they think I have cat fished when it’s all me, but in the best possible light??
      nevertheless what a mean spirited man in his sex with you, sorry he couldn’t have been more giving in the end… twigs, at hundred acres

      1. Twigs, you should always always always flaunt what you’ve got, warts and all. There will always be someone who loves your look and you could do away with that fear you have by posting one pic that shows all of you. You’ll never have to wonder again if they’ll be disappointed when they meet you because they’ll have already determined they like what you’ve got!

    1. Yeah, it’s a tricky situation. Guts are one thing, but it was also incredibly awkward; I truly didn’t want to be rude! So strange considering he was ultimately the rudest!

  8. First and most importantly, that’s a great photo of you.

    Urgh, it sucks that this guy was such a jerk. Presumably he figured that you’d eventually notice the discrepancy, and then the possibilities were (a) you’d give him the benefit of the doubt (make some kind of excuse for him [as I think many women are wont to do], such as doubting your memory of the image, or blowing it off as an old photo); (b) you’d catch him in the lie and go ahead anyway for one reason or another (mistakenly feeling like consent is already given and you now have some kind of obligation, or simply wanting to get laid); (c) you’d consider the deal broken because of the lie and tell him to go fuck himself. I guess he figured the risk of option (c) was low. Don’t be too hard on yourself – in the thick of things is the most difficult time to make a decision about a possible course correction.

    I guess one approach would be to consider, before meeting, where you’d draw the line. If the guy turns out to be a jerk, is it worth your time, energy, etc. to go ahead and try him as a stunt cock (and does that depend on the cock)? At what point is there too little return on your investment?

    Hugs to you.
    Sex Is My New Hobby (Zoë) recently posted…Sinful Sunday: party dressMy Profile

    1. I think going forward that if he doesn’t do it for me once we meet I’ll just bail then, because truthfully, he didn’t do it for me at the bar (that’s also when I noticed his paunch, which shouldn’t have existed). I’ll just be honest and say, “Hey, I’m really sorry, but I’m not feeling it. You don’t look like your pics and that’s not cool. See ya!” And then I’ll pray he’s not a psycho and follows me out to my car to harass me! haha Ugh, fucking internet!

  9. I’ve had something along those lines happen. And I slept with him even though I really shouldn’t have. He didn’t give too many photos and what he did give was old. I went into it expecting sex mostly and went through with it. I don’t regret it so much as wish I’d have just left when he walked up. Oh well, all part of the sexual tapestry of our lives I guess
    Cara Thereon recently posted…MMy Profile

  10. Getting catfished sucks *hugs* it’s one of the reasons I assume EVERYONE I talk to on the internet is a 63 year old, heavily overweight balding male until I : a) meet them in person; b) talk to them live (like on the phone, Skype,etc) or see some similarly “live” video from them. It sucks not being able to trust, but when it comes to internet dating/online friendships, too many people are too afraid to put themselves out as is.

    1. LOL, right?? Well, I did both of those things, but I allowed the momentum to carry me to a point where I decided to just say FUCK IT, which I’ll never do again. Fo’ sho’.

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