“Hy, I just can’t do this whole blog/you thing.”
Ultimately, I wrestle with a much larger demon than just trusting someone in general: I can’t understand why anyone would want to sign up for me. The Russian and everyone else has “proven” this fear over and over.
Before you all jump to tell me that isn’t true — that there exists a man who will in fact want all of me — I already know that. Of course I do. But tell that to the darkest, most terror-stricken part of me; I dare you to get her to listen.
So you know what I’m going to do about all this crushing self-doubt and crippling fear?? Nothing.
Instead, I’m going to make him a motherfucking pot roast and chill.