I’m a hot mess and that’s fucking ok.

WARNING: Post-break-up, bullshit post ahead. Look up “hot mess” and you’ll find a picture of me next to it. First the good news:  I canceled my date last night with the nice man who liked to climb rocks from a couple of Fridays ago.  He was totally cool with it like a normal person would […]

I need you, Internet Boyfriend.

I am feeling lost and sad and lonely.  The Neighbor’s birthday is this weekend and, being silly me, I offered to take him out for his birthday on Saturday, Independence Day. “So…” I began, “I was thinking I should take you out for your birthday this weekend.  Tina and Amy are both out of town, […]

I’m dating too many men.

  On my run this morning it occurred to me that I’m dating too many men.  Then, under an oak tree atop a picnic table I tried to name them all: David is still in the picture, the Bad Texter, The Lawyer, Remington, Mr. Nerdy, the guy tonight, the guy tomorrow, another dude — no, […]

My orgasm made me cry.

I saw The Neighbor last night. It’d been a while since we’d sat across from each other.  He’d taken up a lot of conversation when Ann was here and then emotional space when I saw his fancy black car speed off ahead of us on Sunday afternoon.  My gut had ached with sadness and loss. […]

I exhausted Tinder.

  Apparently, when you’re a picky motherfucker like me, Tinder runs dry after so many “Pass” swipes. Look.  I haven’t heard from the Bad Texter in over a day so I texted hello about 30 minutes ago (I also texted 6 other men).  Of the 7, 4 responded immediately. Naturally, I only want one to […]

When the stars align.

There’s an eerie balance to the universe.  One thing expires, another blossoms; a door closes, another one opens.  People who are closely bonded find themselves on similar cycles of mood, energy, menses, luck. For me, the stars have been aligning, one by one, to bring me to my knees on the alter of Pull Your […]

I lost to bacon.

Don’t laugh, but when given the choice between sex and food, the Bad Texter chose food. We met at his friends’ restaurant and ordered a couple of sandwiches — both of which had bacon — and a couple of ciders.  We sat down and I could see his energy was low, but he was there […]

I had sex with a fat guy.

The Bad Texter, for lack of a better word, is fat.  I’m not using that word in a derogatory way as it’s come to be held in casual speak, it’s simply a fact.  If you carry a certain amount of extra weight on your body in the form of fat — well, you’re fat. He’s […]

Dating is awful: Wherein I state the obvious.

The Neighbor ended things with me on February 11th and I waited until March 27th before I sat across a live man again.  Since then I have been out with 11 men on approximately 29 different occasions in 10 weeks. I’ve had sex with 4 of them 12 times and did a whole bunch of […]

Lovers

Go to the sex category for the pervy stuff.  Not all posts here contain explicit sexual content, but a lot do.  If I mention someone in a post, I put it here.  Sometimes.  I’m not really all that organized, though the Virgo in me demands at least a semblance of it. All names are pseudonyms […]