I fucked two guys on Christmas night: A holiday tradition

No, not this Christmas, sadly.  It’s just me fondly reminiscing again about one of the best nights of my life.

Last year I wrote the following blurb:

Peyton is with my ex for the next few hours and I am home alone watching a bunch of hokey Christmas movies and sipping on cheap champagne. The Neighbor is in colder weather with his family and I am alone with a herd of Christmas animals I’ve volunteered to watch for a few days. Life is pretty good at the moment. I just wish I had wood for my fire — it’s somehow lonelier without one.

Anyway, I thought I’d share one of my favorite sexy Christmas memories and most popular posts with you all today: I fucked two guys on Christmas night.

This year is much the same as last and all the others: Peyton is with my ex for a few hours so I’m alone, I’ve got the herd of animals (but they’re mine this time), no wood for the fire (or a fireplace, but I like to watch the Fireplace Channel so I sort of have one — don’t judge!), and The Neighbor is once again in much colder weather with his family.

What’s different is someone loves me.  Not a bad change.

I love this Christmas Story of mine not just because of its salacious nature, but because it marks the beginning of everything for me.  It happened 4 years ago today, seemingly a lifetime, but just like yesterday.  I can still close my eyes and feel them on me.  That was a night to go in the record books.  And without it I might not be where I am today.

Troy reached out to me recently — filled with his own nostalgia I presume — and suggested that he, Jack and I get together for a drink.  I told him I’d love to.  Troy and I crackle when together and Jack is the perfect grounding unit.  It could be a lot of fun, like old school-time buddies except we’re talking cocks and pussies, not keg stands and finals.

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and hope that today brings you much love and warmth!

Lots of love,

xx

Hy

His cock will be in me at midnight.

My malaise is somewhat percolating below the surface whenever we are apart; when we are together, it’s blown away like a cloud of gnats.

The Saturday before Christmas — after buying him a winter coat — The Neighbor gave me my first Christmas gift: a purple Rabbit.  Its cool, beaded  body sunk into me while his face latched onto my breasts.  It was overwhelming and my body rejected its ministrations.  It felt like a cold, little cucumber with hiccups.

So, his cock took over and he fucked me until I cried, pinned me on my back and stared deeply into my eyes as the daylight poured in through my bedroom windows.

He left me in a puddle and came back at 8, his handsome, boyish face plastered with a smile and his big paws holding one of those round fruitcake tins.  “It’s your second gift!” he said beaming.  I opened the lid and it was a gorgeous, 9 inch dildo.

“TN!!  It looks just like you!!”

We laughed and giggled at the likeness and he bent over my chair behind me and kissed my neck and nuzzled my cheek as I covered my face, overcome with emotion and bashfulness.

“Let’s watch a movie tonight,” he suggested.  I gathered up my cigarettes, a bottle of wine, popcorn, and of course the dildo, and marched next door.  I was quite literally vices on two legs.

I stuck the dildo on the coffee table and it stood guard as we snuggled down into each other to watch Tom Cruise do some impossible mission.  Half way through the movie, his cock distracted me and he tugged me back next door with his doppelgänger cock tucked under his arm.

“Why don’t we just fuck in your bed?” I wondered as I followed.

“The vibrator is here,” he replied simply.

Clothes flew off, a candle was lit, his mouth found its way between my legs.  His tongue hot, soft and pliant tucked inside of my folds and his five o’clock shadow scrubbed my soft inner thighs.  Cock in cunt, plundered.  Kisses, sighs, words of beauty.  Then two cocks inside of me.  I cried out as it burned and I stretched.

I relaxed and breathed around them both.  His eyes lit up as he began to move.  I drenched the man and the imposter and cried and shook as I sucked them both deep inside.

“Jesus Christ, that’s so tight,” he moaned.  I whimpered back and guided his hips to the smallest of thrusts.  Too much, too tight.  I felt womanly and proud.  A baby came through there.  I gave life and now I was giving pleasure, showing him something new and wondrous we could do with our  bodies.

My tears leaked down my face and he kissed them away and I pushed out and around and then he was alone inside of me.  He bucked into me hard and fast and I cried and I felt my ejaculate slip down the crack of my bottom and pool beneath me.

Vibrator and orgasm, hooked fingers, a wriggling, helpless fish I was.  I bawled and sobbed and couldn’t think, couldn’t see but for the stars.  He hushed me and pet me, made fun of me.  I managed to garble out a chastisement of my own, “If you’re going to make me lose my shit all the time, then you are not allowed to tease me.  You must only be kind to me.”

He chuckled and agreed and pulled me closer while I returned to my body.

Then, he left town the next dawn and with his absence the cloud of gnats returned.  I felt alone and adrift, heard little from him while he was gone, but, I know, more than anyone else got from him.

When he returned the day after Christmas I had Peyton and was slumped with sadness.  He’d been texting me from the airports, keeping me apprised of his whereabouts.  At approximately the time I’d guessed he’d be home I heard a thud of a neighbor’s door.  Five minutes later there was a knock on my door.

“Hi!” he said, coolly, handsome in his new pea coat.  “I have your last gift!”  I’d forgotten he’d told me there’d be three.  He brought his hand out from behind his back and handed me a small, white box.

“What is it??  I can’t open this if this is of an adult nature.  I have Peyton.”

“Ok, just look at the return address.”  It said something, something Hitachi.

My eyes flew open and I looked at him and squealed.  “Attachments?!”

He nodded and walked inside and covertly opened the box for me while Peyton told him all about the Christmas haul.  I hugged him and thanked him and welcomed him home.

He stole over later that night when sugar plums were dancing in the room next door and pounded me with his fat, glorious cock and held me and told me all about his awful holiday.  We spoke more about the sex party we were planning on going to the upcoming weekend and I continued to feel together, yet separate.  Happy and sad.  My life is sweet and savory.

Thursday night he visited again, and again I cried and l clung and sucked him dry.

The landscape, the season, the emotional canvas I have with him is not unlike how two magnets work.  They’re only drawn to one another when in proximity.  When I am separated from him I am filled with doubt about what it is I’m doing with him.  Can I handle this?  Am I tough enough?  Do I want to be?  My exhusband thinks I’m wasting time  — well, as does everyone else — but he doesn’t know what I get from this.  I’m still not sure, entirely.

No wait.  I guess I get a sex party.

I also get a sex party pre-party where he fucks me up one side and down the other in our hotel room; I get to hear how beautiful and sexy and awesome he thinks I am; I get to travel with him to distant cities; I get to share his unique sexiness with a wonderful friend and be ourselves; I get to suck on his glorious cock and be taken to physical heights I never knew existed; I get to blow him in a room filled with people where a pile of girls are making love behind me; I get to suck his cock and then let two other girls suck him off as I slobber on their men around a campfire; I get to take a couple back to our room and fuck him while she and I hold hands and our men stuff our pussies; I get to have him devour one breast while she laps the other — soft and sweet on the left, harsh and demanding on the right; and lastly, I get to hear him tell me that he will look back on our time together with nothing but fondness when it ends because, “Before you, I was nothing.  I was no where.  You made me somewhere and something.  I stabilized you, but you made me be something.”

And this afternoon I got to try out what I’m calling the Gonzo Hitachi attachment and when I was spent and my body done quaking I took a picture of it and sent it to him not knowing he was next door.  But soon his cock was shoved down my throat and Gonzo was buried back deep inside of me as he told me what a good girl I was.  His fingers hooked back inside of me after I came again and he brought me a warm g-spot climax and then left to return to the office.

I am alone for the next two hours until he comes back to me after visiting two of his friends’ parties.  I was not invited.  I wrestle with how that makes me feel, but then again, I get him for the rest of the night and our plan is to have him buried deep inside of me at midnight with champagne cascading down the swells of my breasts and the tips of my nipples little bubbly shooters to his open, eager mouth.  Shrooms will be laced in our tea and we will be on a different plane of being, full, vulnerable and determined to never forget each other for the next several hours.  And certainly the rest of our lives.

Happy New Year, Internet Boyfriend.  Be safe, love big, and I hope everyone gets their rocks off in glorious fashion tonight.

photo 1
Tits and bubbles.

 

 

 

I played with two cocks on a dark and stormy night.

Another from my journal archives. I’ve been obsessing over MMFs lately — God, I miss them so much. Like, it almost hurts I miss it so much. Here’s the night that Troy and I met Ryan, a deliciously brown and muscled young man with no inhibitions. Enjoy.

Picture this: A big cock and an even bigger cock filled my line of sight. I took one in my right hand and the other in my left and licked from balls to balls, nibbling with my teeth, slurping with my tongue. I could hear moans of pleasure, feel them press their hips forward into my hands and mouth.

Earlier Ryan’s laugh filled me with a sense of warmth and trust. He’s been “in the lifestyle” for most of his adult life at the tender age of 28. Troy and I met him for drinks, decided he was cool, and went back to Troy’s apartment where I found myself with chilled white wine in hand and between the two of them, giddy, nervous, and excited.

I don’t know what magic voodoo happens in an MMF, but it’s there. There’s an element of freedom, acceptance, and sheer fun that vibrates off of the participants. I would venture to say it’s that way in any group situation, but, ohmygod, the fun of an MMF!! The brilliance, the sensation, the hotness! Nothing puts a smile on my face like a good MMF. Really.

When Ryan’s hands found my pussy I was a faucet. Troy murmured how hot I was and that I was a good girl, which caused me to flood Ryan’s hand further. I tried to control the flow, but my body wasn’t mine anymore. It was theirs to do with as they pleased — and please it they did.

I was bent over and stuffed, kissed, stroked, licked, patted, spanked, caressed, and impaled for 5 hours. Ryan squeezed into me while I wrapped my arms around Troy’s waist as he lay back on the couch. “She’s so tight,” Ryan said as he pushed his 10 inches deeper and deeper. His upward curve making my cunt more accommodating to his size. He laughed that I didn’t need any lube. I felt proud.

And when he started to pump I buried my head in Troy’s waist and tried to take it all in. The pounding from behind, the cock jutting between my breasts, the hands firmly on my hips, and the arms wrapped around me. I bent down and took Troy’s cock in my mouth and let Ryan’s thrusts dictate my sucking. Someone grabbed my braids.

I cried uncle a time or two and they let me rest and would play with each other. Between heavy lids and a buzzing pussy I would watch as masculine jaws practically unhinged as cocks were worshiped. Muscles flexing, big hands wrapped gently around tender packages of low hanging flesh. We tried DVP with Troy on the floor and Ryan entering from behind, but we couldn’t make it work. And it really didn’t matter. Everything else was so goddamned amazing.

Ryan’s kisses, his scent, his moves. Troy’s calm presence, his downy chest, his sheer enjoyment of seeing me enjoy myself, his moves.

Once, when I was on Ryan’s lap, happily, stupidly impaling myself on him, Troy was low to the ground watching like a porn cam operator. “Hy, it’s so hot watching you get fucked. You’re so hot, Hyacinth,” and I wasn’t even self-conscious. Ryan’s hands played on my breasts and I bounced and wriggled like I was on a pony ride.

When Ryan came I was on my back on the floor; he was deep inside of me and Troy’s tender balls hung over my face. They were facing each other. I reached up and suckled Troy’s low hanging fruit as I was split open. I take a break I see that Ryan has bent over me and is sucking Troy while he fucks me. I squeeze on Ryan’s shaft and push back hard and lick Troy’s balls some more while Ryan’s mouth works him over.

Almost suddenly, Ryan pulls out and in one stroke peels away his condom and cums all over me and Troy. His smile broad and rakish. “Holy shit, I couldn’t wait any longer. I think cum went that way!” and he motioned over his shoulder. We all laughed and I lay panting on the floor, overwhelmed with desire and satisfaction.

When I was ready again Troy got behind me and to my surprise it felt no different than the 10 inch cock that had just been filling me. I manage to tell him as much and I felt like I’d figured out the secret to his fantastic fucking: He’s got a magic dick. It’s 8″, but feels like 10″.

He pounded into me and I bore down with everything I had. I swiveled my hips at the end, I wiggled back on him whenever he tried to stop. Ryan’s thick rod was in my mouth and I did my best to not bite him as Troy continued to take me higher. Cum poured down my thighs and it was pooling on the rug at my knees. The tempo increased and I thought my chest was going to explode with tingling and numbness and then I hear moans and Troy pulls out and rips his condom off and unloads on my back. I turn around and let him finish cumming on my breasts and on my mouth.

I fall back onto the couch and lay my legs across Ryan’s legs. It’s started to storm and lightening flashes into the darkened living room. I barely know my name anymore. I think we talked about the weather as Troy cleaned up a little. He had a date the following night and he lamented about the state of his couch and rug (drenched by my pussy). How was he going to explain it?

Suddenly, I wanted to be home. So badly. I don’t know what happened to me, but I wanted to run through the rain to my car and lay in my own bed and dream. Hastily I got dressed, assured the men I was ok and ran out into a warm, summer downpour. The drops heavy and silky soaked me to the skin in seconds. I wasn’t upset to discover I’d forgotten my phone and had to run back. Troy met me at the door with it in his hand. I grabbed it and ran back. Soaking wet. Stupid-fucked. Reeling. Happy. Disoriented.

I turned a first date into a threesome.

Thursday night I met Kevin. He’s 26, 6’2″, has a girlfriend. He’s a ridiculously nerdy fellow with an acerbic sense of humor and quick wit. We “met” on OKCupid weeks ago and our schedules were such that we had to wait for the holidays to pass. He asked me “High or low brow?” when we were trying to figure out a place to meet for drinks.

“High,” I answered.

We drank wine, chatted, and I pressed my calf against his. He looked at me meaningfully.

We decided to go back to his house. I sucked his extremely pretty cock, hot and jutting into my mouth and two fists. He poured me some wine. I took cock-sucking breaks to whet my whistle with the rich, fruity grape, then would dive back on.

He wouldn’t let me make him cum. He wanted to wait. But then, suddenly, we were willing, but not able: NO CONDOMS. So, I backed off some only occasionally dipping down onto his bobbing erection between stories.

“I have an ex lover in town who says she’s never been with a woman before. I think she might be gay. She never seemed to care about my cock.”

“Ok. Call her up. We’ll go to my place.” His jaw dropped. There was a long pause.

“Really?”

“Really.”

And just like that, the ball was rolling.

A few texts later we were all headed to my house (a house filled with condoms). I lit candles and put on Pandora. I realized I was nervous. I’ve had two FFMs in the past. One was a goddamned disaster wherein Troy and Lina left me out. The other was pretty goddamned great and I was treated with respect by that couple and the three of us devoured one another for 3 hours.

What was tonight going to bring? I’d only just met Kevin and the only thing I knew about this girl was that she was half black and half Mexican. I’d refused to look at pics because it simply didn’t matter whether or not I found her attractive. Let’s be honest: I’d fuck her anyway.

Turns out she wasn’t my type, but I loved her attitude. She was in my house less than 5 minutes before she was pants-less and in my bed. She peeled off my clothes and sucked on my tits. Kevin touched us tenderly, not wanting to get in the way of his friend’s first experience. I slid down her softness and spread her knees wide, dipped down. She tasted of pine.

I pulled her skin up with my left hand, her short pubic hair scratching my palm, and buried two fingers deep inside her hot hole. She arched her back as my mouth found her labia. I licked warmly, firmly, pushed my fingers against her opening knowing it’s the stretch that feels so good. I slipped in another finger. She moaned. And I started rocking my face on her pubis.

But the pine… it was odd for me. It distracted me. I won’t lie.

Meanwhile, Kevin had taken off his clothes at my behest. I wanted to lavish some attention on him, but she had other ideas. She flipped me over and without further notice dove down on me. She was awkward, but focused. I felt like something on her bucket list.

She didn’t last long. I lay there wishing she’d let Kevin show her some moves. But it was at this point that I realized the two of us, Kevin and I, were her play things. She wasn’t interested in a group effort; she wanted to get off on us and anything she did to us or with us was for her benefit. I chuckled inside and thought, Ok. Whatever.

When she was through licking me, Kevin gently pushed her to the side and put his cock inside of me. I would have been wet regardless, but the girl’s saliva made certain he had easy entry. It felt good. Really good. But she had other ideas. She pushed him off of me and clamored on top, pinning my hands by my sides beneath her weight; we were pressed tits to tits. She started to hump.

She humped the both of us to her orgasm about 4 times and each time neither of us (the humped) felt much. I couldn’t move, let alone get off. But, this was about her experience and about him getting to watch us, so I played along.

I came twice with my vibe, had to tell her to get off of me at one point because she literally couldn’t let me just be, and helped Kevin fuck her off and on. He’d go soft and say, “Hy, please suck me.” He already knew I could get him hard fast. I did a lot of cock sucking that night for him — and happily so — because whenever he’d get soft she’d complain and make fun of him. I’d look at him with knowing eyes. She also couldn’t help but smack his face. He didn’t like it, but he was patient with her. She was clearly in her own little world.

Finally, I was laying wrapped in my robe on Kevin’s left, she was on his right, and I was lightly scratching Kevin’s groin, avoiding his semi-hard cock. Then I felt it nudge my hand. I kept my nails digging in and cupped his scrotum. His cock surged. “Hy, don’t stop.” That’s when she noticed it and pounced on top of him. “No, you don’t,” he said and he flipped them over, with her beneath him.

I had perfect access to his sack and the base of his cock. As he thrust into her I held my hand against his balls and applied pressure. The perfect reach-around that no mortal could accomplish on her own. He came in 10 seconds and when he was done, he thanked me, not her.

They left and I washed all my bedding. Took a long, hot shower. The pine scent lingered.

I had fun despite the bulldozer that shared Kevin with me. She was eager and really pretty comical in her own sexy way. She’ll never forget me.

I’d do it again in a heart beat and I can’t wait to get that kid all to myself. We have a date for this Saturday.

I fucked two guys on Christmas night.

Tonight is my one-year anniversary of becoming a libertine and creating a left-of-center, non-vanilla lifestyle. For real.

Prior to a year ago, I was a newly single woman embarking on a non-monogamous dating path. That much I knew. But I didn’t know how far I swung out of the mainstream until a surprise package landed in my lap late December 25th, 2010. That’s when I knew I was forever changed.

Troy was a man I’d men in early November and our sex was electric. I made him cum 4 times our first time and he’s the one who opened my body to wonders I didn’t know existed. He was a demanding, gentle, talented lover, but out of bed he was cruel, punitive, and dismissive. Our sexual affair lasted as long as I could stand until he betrayed me with a friend. I mourn the loss of his cock and skill, but celebrate the freedom from the bullshit.

One of the many things that Troy and I bonded over was our shared fantasy regarding a third man. He wanted to suck a huge cock and I wanted to watch men suck each other. So we embarked on a hunt via AFF to find a third. Man after man didn’t pass muster. Troy would routinely meet them first to make sure they weren’t creepy, then I’d meet them, but no one clicked. We were becoming discouraged.

Then, it all came together. Like the twinkle in Santa’s eye. It wasn’t planned, it was a happy accident. Suddenly I had two men before me, a fire in my hearth, and cocks all over inside me.

Here’s the story as I documented it one year ago today:

The other night I was suddenly and unexpectedly childless. I invited Troy over for companionship since a trip he had planned for fell through (a wild jaunt in the mountains with an Amazonian Russian doll, no less). I surprised him with my childless status to which he immediately jumped and texted Jack, a 20-something computer-systems-IT-type dude; European in stature and British in intonation, to come to my house instead of his for an initial meet and greet.

Troy was agitated and nervous as we waited so I pushed him down on my couch and sucked and stroked his cock for a few minutes with expertise, then climbed on top and drenched his hips with my pussy juices as he pile drove into me and came like a rockstar.

Finally Jack arrived. Tall, pale, polite, floppy-haired and bespectacled. The perfectly innocuous third to our fantasy.

I sat on the couch next to Troy. Jack sat in a chair. We chatted. Then someone suggested Jack sit next to me, essentially sandwiching me between them. The men began discussing auto-oral stimulation and I mentioned I loved to sit and hold my breast in my hand like this. Then I asked if Jack would like to hold it. Then I told Troy to hold the other one.

I sat there in stillness. The universe swirled around me as two large, warm male hands each cupped a heavy breast tenderly, eagerly.

“What do you want us to do next, sweet Hyacinth?” Jack asked.

“Kiss my neck,” I firmly replied.

And they did. Two pairs of soft lips on balanced sides of my neck, nibbling away. Their hands kneading and strong on my tits still.

With locks of soft hair brushing one side of my neck and the fine stubble of a shaved head on the other I tell them, “Now unbuckle your pants.” They do and I reach into each of their laps and hold giant, rigid cocks. Jack is 8″+, Troy is close to 8″.

All salacious hell breaks loose and the next 3 and a half hours or so are a fucking blur. Literally.

If memory serves me, Jack flipped me on my back, hefted my knees high and peeled off my panties. He fell onto my pussy with gusto while Troy kissed me deeply. It hurt for a few strokes and I had to say, “Flatten your tongue, Jack, flatten it,” to which he did immediately. This went on for a few minutes before things switched gears.

I sucked Jack first. Troy wanted me to lead the way, to break the ice, and I was more than willing. I kneeled before him and spread his legs wide, gripped the base and licked from balls to stern. Jack is thick and my hand was filled with his heat. He was shaved clean, which I don’t ordinarily like, but with the contrast of Troy’s trimming I found it intriguing, titillating, lovely. I deep-throated him like Troy had taught me a couple of days prior but I was sorely lacking so he took over.

I watched in awe as this powerful, 6’6″, broad-shouldered, and athletic man gently took hold of another man’s 8″ cock and tenderly put it in his mouth and. bore. down. Like he was born to it. Someone was probably touching me somewhere — I have no clue — I was spiraling up and up as my fantasy manifested before my eyes.

Things switched again. Jack started fingering me, someone was kissing me, someone was licking my pussy and I was squirting. And squirting. And squirting.

My brain began to shut down and be replaced by my glorious cunt, my nerves, my sensations.

Minutes, hours, an eternity? later I found myself fucking Jack – something neither Troy nor I thought I’d do. He pounded into me. Maybe Troy was there licking my clit? I don’t know. Maybe we were in my room, maybe the living room. God, I have no fucking clue, even now. I only know that at some point my vibe entered the equation and I was prone over my ottoman in only a bathrobe and two long, naked men at my head and rear. Jack was under me with three fingers curled deep inside, the vibe held tight to my clit. Troy was at my face, kissing me, whispering how beautiful I was, this was, and his fingers trailed lightly along my back and face as I whimpered and shuttered and cried and came and came and came and poured juices all over Jack’s face beneath me.

They talked about me like I wasn’t there; marveling at my body and its responses to them. I loved hearing every word. They compared their sensations at “bottoming out” with me, how amazing it was; how eager I was; how incredible I felt and how good I tasted.

And I came some more.

Then I sucked Jack with Troy burying himself deep inside of me, essentially controlling Jack’s blowjob with his thrusts. As Troy so aptly pointed out later, I was, literally, a FUCKING COCKSUCKER.

Later, I lay on my back in my bed with Troy to my left and Jack over me and deep inside of me, the vibe at my clit. Jack had never fucked with a Hitachi before and he kept up a steady stream of comments, “Oh my God. She’s clenching. I can feel her. It feels so good. Oh, Hyacinth…” And then as he came he pulled out, stripped off the condom and Troy sucked him dry, then was suddenly looming over my face, blocking out the light, and snowballing Jack’s yummy, tangy cum into my eager mouth.

I finished myself off with the vibe, Troy’s hand on my throat, Jack quietly waiting at my feet. My mind fragmented. Then Troy says hoarsely, “Hyacinth, I need you to suck me like only you can.” And I did. And he came brilliantly in my mouth, warm and delicious, like heated vanilla.

There were times during the night when I could hear them wondering aloud whether or not they’d “broken me” as I lay trembling and gasping in a literal puddle of my own making. I always said, “NO. Just give me a minute. Don’t stop.” And they didn’t. They kept going and going, playing off of what each other was doing to me, juxtaposing their strokes, their styles.

The strongest two snapshots I have in my mind from that night are 1) of my face pressed into the ottoman with unimaginable sensation skyrocketing out of my pussy through every vein of my body and Troy’s breath mingling with mine as tears slipped over my cheeks from the sheer magnitude of it all, and 2) of me on my back in my bed, Jack silhouetted to the right, Troy on the left. They’d asked me what I wanted them to do as I held the vibe desperately to my clit, and I’d whispered, “Touch each other,” and they simply did. Just them on their knees, I think they might have touched their chests or maybe just a hand, I don’t know, but it was enough for me to explode in orgasm through every cell of my body.

This event is important for a couple of reasons.

First, my self-esteem seems securely anchored not in the fact that men want me, but that I am, indeed special. Other women are not like me. I have something to offer that few do. Gone are the days of me feeling lacking because I don’t cum easily with men — lo, I’ve only clitoraly orgasmed with four lovers ever and two of them I loved (my only two loves, actually, one by accident and Troy was the 4th). Men should feel lucky to come across a woman like me who loves sex, loves men, is open-minded, kind, intelligent, fun, and really fucking sweet in her pursuits to be the best lover possilble.

Secondly, I feel like I’ve been given the most precious gift ever: attention. I never, in a million years, expected Jack and Troy to focus all their attention on me. Never. It was the most brilliant gift I’ve ever received. I hope I accepted it with whatever grace and humility I could possibly muster at the time. After so many years with no attention even remotely charged with sexual energy and then to be the sudden and unexpected recipient of loads of it healed wounds I didn’t know could be healed.

Lastly, It was the beginning of the rest of my sexual life. It opened me to experiences, people, and possibilities I never knew could exist. It was my final puzzle piece. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the launching point for a titillating, salacious year of sex. A brilliantly difficult, but passionate year.

Best Christmas present ever.