A ghost sneaked into my bed.

It’s been a little over one year to the day from when The Neighbor said he “didn’t want to do it anymore.  Meaning: date me.  I have never gone through such a brutal break up in my life; my divorce wasn’t this painful and I can’t quite figure out why.

Maybe it’s because I decided to trust an untrustworthy man.  Maybe it’s because I was truly me with him.  Maybe it’s because I loved him more.  I don’t know the answers.

The entire year of 2015 was spent working hard at healing and digging deep into my own psyche; what was wrong with me that I had allowed that to happen to me?  I had willfully ignored a frantic voice in me to end things with him the summer before he did.  I had been so desperate for it to be wrong I crushed any chance I had at listening to it.

Bereft and ashamed of myself I gave myself a couple of months to catch my breath before I began dating again.  I activated dating sites and met men with a clear idea of what I wanted: financially secure, smart, kind, funny, and hung.  Gee, Hy, would you also like a unicorn and mermaid with that perfect man??

It’s laughable only because it’s an impossible thing to look for, but I was intent nonetheless.  I believed with all my heart that he was out there and unless I put myself in front of him how else would I ever find him?

Tall men, short men, hung and average, smart to dim witted, I dated them all and even fucked a few, their differences from TN as much as a relief as it was a heartbreak.  Was he really so unique of a man??

Imagine my surprise then when Bones unbuckled his pants and I saw a penis much like my old love’s.  Same thickness, same length and the man attached to it is built in an eerily similar way.  Shorter and less stocky, but densely muscled and powerful all the same.

None of this registered in the heat of the moment as our clothes peeled off.  It wasn’t until he threw me down on the bed and pressed into me, his lead-like weight pinning me to the mattress and his giant dick entering me that I was reminded of what it used to feel like to fuck TN.

If Bones had somehow gotten his hands on some Chanel Blue for men and had a hairy-as -fuck chest I could have closed my eyes and thought it was The Neighbor.  But only for fleeting moments.  These two men don’t fuck the same, how could they?

TN knew every inch of me and Bones had only just touched me.  He didn’t know how to bring me to the heights TN did.

The second time he came over it was a similar experience and my sobriety only served to heighten the similarities until I looked at the whole picture.  Bones came over at 9:30 after Peyton fell asleep and stayed with me until the very last second he could.  The sun was barely up when he looked at me with puffy eyes and kissed me with his lips together to hide his morning breath.  “Bye, have a good day,” I said and then went and woke up my sleeping angel.

The third time he came over was after midnight on a Sunday.  He had been four states away for the entire week and wanted to see me, something about fucking the shit out of me.

He left in the afternoon, a little later than planned, and I was disappointed.  “You’re not going to be able to come over,” I texted.  “It’ll be too late!”

He told me he was coming over.

I don’t think I believed him until he called a little after midnight and woke me up.  I was groggy and discombobulated from a lucid dream.  “Hey, I’m on Cement Ave.  That’s near you, right?”

“Yeah, that’s really close,” I croaked.

“Are you ready to be fucked up against the wall?”

I woke up a little then and could hear his smile.  I laughed.

“How long have you been thinking about that?” I asked.

He paused, then, “Nine-hundred miles.”  We laughed together and I shuddered.  He was actually going to show up.  He made a promise and he was keeping it.  He seemed to understand the value of a woman willing to have sex with him.

There was a soft rap on my door a few minutes later and my heart skipped a beat.  I padded to the door.  He stood in the doorway with backpack and duffel bag and a crooked smile.  He kissed me, gum in his mouth, set his gear down, and turned to me.

I felt shy and awkward, makeup-less and sleepy.

We fell into each other’s arms and I was reminded of what an incredible kisser he is.  I got lost in his whiskers and lips and began to lead us to my candlelit room.

I kicked the animals out and shut the door and he pushed me against the wall and, just like he’d promised, fucked me up against it.  The cold sheet rock pressed against my warm palms as his hot hands twisted the flesh of my hips in his hands.

He slipped out and I ejaculated and moaned, ground back on him and writhed on my feet while he pumped into me.  He popped out again and again I squirted.  I needed something to grip and he turned me around to the footboard.  The bed immediately protested with loud squeaks.

His height was perfect for entering me from behind, not unlike TN’s.  I pinched my eyes shut and concentrated on the new man slamming his hips against the backs of my thighs.

On the bed he splayed my knees and slid inside, long and hard.  His arms were stiff beams on either side of me and the faster we clashed against one another the more my bed wailed.  Its screeching filled the room along with my pants and moans and cries for, “More baby, harder, faster, pleaaaaase…”

On my belly, my hands wrapped around the iron bars when I heard, “I’m gonna cum, baby!”  He pulled out and hot globs of jizz sizzled on my back.  TN didn’t do that for an entire year.

We slept comfortably in each other’s arms until our alarms began to chime.  His at 6 am on the dot, mine at 6:02.  We snoozed our phones and stretched into each other.  His warm, hairy arm flung over the dip in my waist.  The phones chimed again, this time one minute apart.  I felt a bump against my bottom, a little tap, tap.

I arched into the well of his hips and felt the fullness of his erection.  He squeezed a breast and pulled me closer as I reached behind me and stroked and squeezed him.  His hand slid down to my hip and buttock.  He lifted the meat so it would part for him and the tip of his cock found my hole.

He pushed in easily and the reverse curve of his cock hooked into me towards my belly button.  I groaned.  He thrust.

Morning sex is different.  I hesitate to call it special, per se, but it’s certainly nothing I’ve had much experience with in the last 5 years.  My lovers steal away in the middle of the night — or I do — and The Neighbor and I rarely fucked in the morning.  That would have meant he’d stayed the night and that was a rarity.  (Though, I would steal over to his apartment early in the quiet morning and suck on his monster cock until he awoke.)

He rolled me onto my belly and I raised my bottom to meet him.  He smacked my flanks and I fell back on him with all my might, the bed obnoxiously loud.  Faster, more furiously, more fiercely he pounded into me.  I came and twisted beneath him.  “I came, I came,” I panted.

He took it as his green light and came immediately himself and sprayed cum all over my back again.

He disappeared for a moment and returned with a towel and wiped me clean.  We lay sprawled next to each other, dazed and satiated.

Bones is a private man and rarely talks about himself.  Sometimes talking to him is an exercise in patience, but his energy is positive and he seems to be enjoying himself when we’re together.  He’s funny and distant, a combination I tend to like.  

It’ll be interesting to see just at what point the ghost of TN is completely exorcised from my bed because I know he still lingers in my heart as a smear of pain.  My reluctance to open up is evident every time I’m with someone; allowing Bones to come over and stay the night has caused me great panic and often regret at offering the invitation in the first place.  But his calm reserve and steady presence isn’t threatening and so I keep offering.

Also, there’s no fucking way I’m passing up time with this man.  I happen to be a big fan of unicorns and mermaids.

He wakes me up with a side of morning sex.

My alarm oozed into my consciousness and I peeked my eyes open.  It was still dark, the hill outside my window was backlit with a deep glowing blue from the city lights beyond.  I closed my eyes again and sank into my pillow waiting for the next round of chimes.

His hand came out of the darkness from my right, warm and heavy.  It gently groped my left breast and eased its way over to my right.  Back and forth it went between the two and I lay there wondering if I were dreaming, but the stroking continued.  My hand went down to my parted legs and my panties, loose and comfy, had pulled to the side while I slept.  I gingerly touched my warm lips.

I took his wrist and guided his hand down between my legs.  “How is it that you’re already wet?” he said huskily.  My elbow bumped into his giant erection.

“How is it that you’re already hard?”

“I wake up like this every morning,” he replied getting up on his knees and pulling off my underwear.

“Well, I wake up like this every morning, too.”

He licked his hand and rubbed the head of his cock and pushed against my hole.  His lick was totally unnecessary.  He ground in like a delicious, deep massage and held himself there.

“Good morning, Hyacinth,” he said smiling.

“Good morning, TN,” I whispered back.

We moved slowly in the dark dawn glow, the dark purple sheet pulled up over us to ward off the ceiling fan.  My alarm chimed on again.  Nine minutes had passed, though it felt like 9 seconds and 9 hours all at once.

I dug my fingers into his meaty buttocks and pulled him closer, he grunted in my ear and began to move faster.  My body temperature rose to meet our tempo and I got tangled in my shirt; I gave up with it wrapped behind my neck.  At least my fucking tits were free.

We writhed and moaned and I filled my nostrils with his scent, his beard scratched my neck and cheek and face.  I began to lose myself in the movements and my demure little moans morphed into bursts of sound as he slammed into me.  My pussy made her presence known, too, with slick squelching noises.  The Neighbor growled louder and I came in bubbles and blossoms wishing with all my might that he may lose himself, too.

Instead, he powered away at me and I clung to him for dear life; I wasn’t going to give up first, I didn’t care how close to dying I thought I was.  He panted hard and drove into me one last time as if to cum, but relaxed and rolled off of me instead.  “Where’s your Hitachi?” he asked.

“In the closet,” I answered, sprawled in the dawn’s light-blue light.

He brought it back and I turned it on; he lay next to me and stroked his aching hardon.  I marveled at its slight arch.  I came harder with the vibrations and he held my face and kissed me as I breathed into him and turned rigid with the orgasm that washed through me.

“So, is this the first time you’ve ever fucked a guy who had his lights turned off?” he asked me referring to the previous night of zero electricity in his place.

“It is!  Congratulations, TN,” I laughed.  “You’ve got yet another First under your belt.”

“What can I say?  I’m The Best Deadbeat Lover, ever!”

“Yes, you are.”

I smiled again and got up, the light outside my window burst with pinks and oranges.  “And you’re the best fucking alarm clock.”

He came round and held my face, looked into my eyes, icy blue to dark, and kissed me square on the mouth.  “Well, thank you for letting me stay at Hotel Hyacinth where the morning sex and continental breakfasts are free of charge.”

We laughed again and left the bedroom to start our day.