Please excuse my vanity.

I tell you all frequently that it’s “the angle” or “good lighting” when it comes to my photos and sometimes, that’s true.

And sometimes, it’s the finish on a photo that makes me feel bold enough to share with you.

Reality to fantasy.  All in a matter of moments.

They may look like 9 identical pics to you, but there is only 1 I would want you to see and it’s not the original [in the upper-left corner].

I am frequently ashamed I’m not willing to be more honest with you about my shape and I worry that I am perpetuating a stereotype when I am as real as you are.

The truth is, I feel like a lion even though I may only be a mouse, and though reality is somewhat different from what I perpetuate, I am lucky enough to see myself through others’ eyes, and I believe.

I believe they find me beautiful and — like magic — I am.

Somehow, that’s all I ever needed to do to be released from insecurity: trust.

So, please, forgive me my vanity and my altered images.  It’s how I like to picture myself.

Sinful Sunday

I have permission to fuck other men. I think.

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Obama would approve, I’m certain.

I was at my kitchen table doing my secret sex blog stuff last night when I heard a faint knock at my door and saw The Neighbor’s head peek through.  The rest of him, clad in a towel, followed.  I knew he’d been in his tub and I’d told him I wished I was sitting on his toilet with a glass of wine shooting the shit, but he’d asked for a “TN night” and so I was content to do my own thing.

But, here he was.

He complimented me on my new dress and I complimented him on his giant, flaccid penis outlined by the white terry cloth.  “I’m not here to fuck.  I just wanted to hear about your interesting day.”  He carefully repositioned the towel exposing his flanks.  “C’mon, let’s go lay down.”

“Ok,” I agreed standing to follow him, “but I only said it was mildly interesting.”

I lit a candle and he crawled under the covers, losing the towel.  I sat demurely on top of the duvet, an arm’s reach away.  “Come in here,” he said and patted the spot beside him.  “Ok, so, your day.  What happened?”

“I had coffee with Jason.”

“Was that the guy who wanted to suck my dick?”

“He was one of them, yeah.  We struck up a chat a few weeks ago on Facebook and decided to catch up.  It was weird, but cool.  He was also the guy who gave me a C for dirty talk.”

“What a fucking asshole!”

“Yeah, well, anyway, it was ok.”

I lay in his arms and played with his chest hair idly, the two margaritas and two glasses of wine in me emboldened me to parlay this into a deeper conversation.  “How do you feel about me meeting him?”

He as quiet for a bit then said he didn’t mind.  “What if I’d fucked him?”

“Then I’d be disappointed.”  He paused here and thought.  “I think I’d want to approve of any old or new lover you hooked up with and I’d want you to tell me so we would start using condoms again.”

“So I have permission to fuck other people?”

“I’m not sure… I don’t have permission to fuck other people, though, do I?”

I sat up and looked at him, nuzzled his face and his chest with my lips.  “No, you don’t.  You said you didn’t want to back in January.  It doesn’t work that way. Have you changed your mind?”

Again, he was thoughtful.  “No.  No, I haven’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

He grabbed my breasts and squeezed and I got up and kneeled between his knees, spread them slightly with my own.  His massive thighs bright white against the dark aubergine sheet.

“Suck my cock now,” he growled.  I grabbed his chubby cock and looked at him.

“No.  What do you say?” I asked him with a soft smile.

“Fucking suck it now, you dirty fucking slut!” he tried again.  My heart quickened and my smile grew.

But again, I said, “No.  More.”

And in a sweet, soft voice he asked, “Will you please suck my cock, Ma’am?” and without delay I fell on the cock that had become as rigid as a soldier.

My dress pooled around my legs and my tits fell out of the top and my tender nipples dragged on his flexed thighs.  I sucked and slurped and gripped and took little breaks to let his tension build.

When his erection was mighty, I didn’t want it in my mouth anymore and pulled my panties down.  He pushed me to my back and lifted up my skirts and drove into me, my ankles hiked over his shoulders like a knapsack.

He lit into me like a man possessed, I managed to stare at his shadow-cast face, so beautiful and masculine, staring down at me for several moments before the pounding knocked my eyes shut.  My pussy gushed and I squirted down my the crack of my bottom and moaned and gripped and clawed at him.  He didn’t want things to change, was all I could think.

He slammed into me a few more times then held still.  “I think I hurt my balls,” he winced.  I laughed and hugged him.

“Oh, honey, that’s awful!” I crooned and kissed his neck, his head hung down dejectedly.  He rolled off of me and disconnected.  I was still happy about sneaking in “honey” as I gently fondled his sack.  “We should put a pillow there or something next time!”

He chuckled.  “I have a fluffy sports headband I could use!”

As we chatted in each other’s arms I continued to stroke his erection, never letting it waiver.  “Do you think I could suck your cock?”

He nodded and I repositioned myself between his legs.  I sucked and paused, sucked and waited, stroked and moaned.  I told him how gorgeous his cock was, how much I loved sucking it.  He teased me that I had seduced him, that he hadn’t planned on fucking me at all and I pointed out he was the one who had demanded I suck his cock in the first place.  He giggled and I fell back down on him.

He burst into my mouth seconds later, his sweet laughter filled the darkened room.  He shook his hands like little meaty helicopters.

I laid in his arms again for a little while then massaged his back with the Hitachi and brought myself to a little standing orgasm in between causing him to yell, “Kelly Clarkson!” from the intense vibrations on his sore spots.

We laid together finally then and talked some more and I teased him about our next break up which is due in April if we are to keep our 90-day Hy-freaks-out schedule.  “Are we gonna break up and then get back together?” he asked, “or are we gonna break up break up?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to get back together.”

“Ok, then that’s what we’ll do.”  He got up to go and I felt silly and a little guilty for everything, the double standards, my emotional demands.  “Our relationship is an unconventional one, maybe we need unconventional maintenance, too,” I suggested.  He nodded agreement and I walked him to the door while slipping on my favorite Obama shirt and a pair of white panties.

He crossed the 4 feet to his door, looked around, and let the towel drop.  We smiled at each other and he walked into his apartment.

I need to say more, I think, let him know that I still love him.  Or maybe that’s a silly idea and I should keep my mouth shut and be happy with his continued interest and fidelity.

Fuck.

Love is not always the answer and anyone who tells you so is full of shit.  Love, sometimes, is the problem.

Hy and Obama

Just your average Tuesday morning photo shoot.

Obama would approve of this message.

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At 11 am, I laid in bed with Peyton snoozing softly beside me — around 7, I’d awoken and gone in and transferred my warm, rag doll baby to snuggle next to me.

I stretched and smiled, sunk deeper into my mattress and suddenly recalled my dream: The Neighbor’s cock buried deep inside of me, my ass in the air, him oddly perpendicular to me, and sliding his length slowly in and out. I clenched my pussy around him and he exclaimed, “Oh my god, Hy!! Do that again!” And so I did.

I worked my muscles around him like my life depended on it, and the long, slow strokes from his hips were bringing me as close to orgasm as they were him. I rocked my bottom back on him, tilting against each thrust and he groaned some more.

There was no ball-slapping, pelvis-slamming fucking like the night before. This was sensuous and concentrated.

And then I woke up before my body spilled over the edge.

I texted TN to tell him he’d fucked me good and we’d possibly created a new position.

“So Dream TN is creative?” he texted back.

“Very. It felt goooooooood,” I replied.

I laid there some more, checked into Twitter for a second, then heard a knock.

Betting it was likely him I stole to the front door clad only in panties and my Obama t-shirt — you know, the one with the ubiquitous image of him looking thoughtful and engaged.

The peephole confirmed it was him and I let him and a blast of cold air in.

“Jesus, it’s cold out there!” He shivered. The temp had dropped 30 degrees overnight.

“Do you have Peyton?”

“Yeah, I do. What’s up?”

“Oh, I wanted to see if you wanted to see a movie.”

“Yeah, I can’t, sorry. But we’re about to go to breakfast. Wanna come with?”

He stood there contemplating for a long moment. This would be the first time the three of us would do anything together. “Ummmmmm,” he looked pained as he said it. “No. No, thanks.”

I wasn’t bothered by his response, or surprised. I changed the subject quickly. “Don’t you like my outfit?” I stuck my ass out and twirled.

“Mmm. I do. I think Obama would approve this message!” He closed the distance between us and latched his mouth into my nipple, just over Obama’s right ear.

He pulled away and regarded me with a heated gaze. I thanked my lucky stars for the millionth time that my child sleeps like the dead. “I love those panties of yours. I really like the buttons, even if they’re not functional.”

“Oh, they’re functional,” I purred as I undid the top one. His eyes lit up and he motioned for me to keep going.

Halfway down I paused, shy. “I haven’t groomed all week…”

He came back to me and slid his hand down the front of my panties. “Ooh! You’re right! But I don’t care, keep going.”

I undid the remaining buttons, my panties flipped open to the sides with his paw curled around and down. One of his fingers slipped inside of me and his mouth returned to the president’s ear.

I moaned a little and hugged him closer. He stood up and pulled his hand out, sniffed his finger and made an approving sound as he headed back to the front door. We said goodbye and I closed the door.

A second later, the phone rang. It was him.

“Hello?”

“I just want to say I’m not a dick.”

“Ok?”

“I didn’t say no to breakfast with you and Peyton because of Peyton. I just really, really wanted to go see a movie right now. I don’t want you to think I said no because Peyton would be there.”

I smiled. This man who loves me “this much, but not that much,” certainly makes me feel loved “that much” a lot of the time. I’m certain he has no idea.

“Ok, thanks, TN. I appreciate that.”

We said our goodbyes again and hung up.