I found Two More Dissolutes – May edition

I’m enjoying this thing N. Likes and I are doing; it’s forcing me to peek my head out of my hole.

Hy’s Pick:

Pyx Syncopation

Hy’s Thoughts:

This month, I’d like to draw your attention to Pyx Syncopation.  She’s not a complete stranger around these parts as I know many of you are her friends, but she’s kinda new to me and that’s the point of this whole thing.

Pyx is introspective about her actions, where she came from, and she leads a very sexual life (husband, boyfriend, plus dates) which she categorizes as a high priority in her life.  When I read her, I find myself nodding and hmm’ing and thinking, “I’d like a drink with this woman!”  I also get turned on, something which rarely happens to me from personal sex blogs.  Ironic, right?

In fact, as I was researching this month’s pick, I found myself embarrassingly turned on with my baby in the other room watching Scooby Doo.  If The Neighbor were here with us, I might give him a quick blowjob or have him stick it in for a quick orgasm, but when I’m on my own… well, I just feel pervy and teased.

Anyway, she did it to me, her writing.  Her frank appraisal of her motivations, her frustrations, her descriptive, yet casual prose.

The piece I’m thinking of  in particular was this one, Sexual Habitual II, written just three days ago.  Her husband knows everything she needs and wants and does it in this vignette, wordlessly, like a symbiotic dance partner.  And it turned me the fuck on.

N.’s thoughts:

Ooh, yeah. This is a good blog. A smart person, writing smartly, about sex and relationships and stuff. Yay! Thank you, Hy!

Like Hy, I rarely get turned on reading personal sex blogs. In fact, I rarely read personal sex blogs. They really don’t do much for me. But this is much more than just a 21st century version of an annotated notched bedpost. I like!

N. Likes’ Pick:

Tits and Sass

This month, I call your attention to this blog. The blog is a group blog run by sex workers, mostly in the U.S., but internationally as well. I discovered the blog, I suspect, following a trail from Maggie McNeill’s “The Honest Courtesan,” a blog that is overwhelmingly good, and that I’ve written about many times before – and that I list in my blogroll off to the side over there —->.

Tits and Sass is widely varied – because it’s a group blog, it features all sorts of stuff, ranging from Stoya’s writing trenchantly about SNL’s poor parodies of porn stars to a “cam girl” writing about the experience of “Downsizing My Rack.” I’m finding lots to read on the blog, and lots that’s interesting.

There’s lots to choose from on the blog, but my pick for “Two More Dissolutes” this month is “Loving Don Draper: Economics and Intimacy in an Abolitionist World.” Because, you know, I love Mad Men, am fascinated with the Don Draper character, and I like sex, and have enjoyed consuming the services of sex workers, even if it was, for me, mostly in a deeply unhappy context that I did so.

Read the post. It’s a bit academic (it has ten footnotes). But it’s very thought-provoking and informative. It’s sort of the opposite of last month’s link. It delves deep, both emotionally and theoretically, into just how and why sex work can be complicated, in a way that is honest and raw, and at the same time, disciplined and thoughtful.

I wish to god there were more writing like this from johns, from the consumers of the services of sex workers. Sadly, though, the province of writing and thinking about the meaning and consequences of the commodification of sex, and the business of selling sex, is limited almost exclusively to women. (If anyone knows any interesting writing by men on the subject, please, please point me in that direction. I’m hungry for it.)

Hy’s thoughts:

I’m always fascinated by sex workers and their experiences.  Whenever I had no money, I used men and my body for nice dinners and without shame or guile.  I’m pretty sure we all knew what was up — it’s the economics of dating — but I was never able to make the jump to actual sex work.  I was simply too afraid of being caught by the police.  (I get nervous when a mall cop passes me.)

This piece N. chose is particularly interesting to me because of its peek into the emotional management side of sex work (managing the “SOFFS”, for example).  A sex worker has to shore up her arsenal of feminist logic, explain “abolitionist feminism,” I’m sure, too, be on guard on guard on guard.  It sounds mostly exhausting.  I wish sex work were different here, safer, regulated like all the other work we get paid to do. Maybe a little easier.

What’s the difference between emotional intimacy and physical intimacy?  At this point, a few laws and a judgement or two.

Anyway, I admit to skimming parts of the post simply because the paragraphs were too large and I needed more time and space to process.  That’s not a knock against the writer as much as it’s an admission to my own mental deficiencies.  But I liked her tying in Don Draper, his personal shame and anger, into people’s projections onto sex workers (dirty whores!).

It was thought provoking and made me feel a little bit smarter.  I’m not all that interested in all the politics, per se, but I am interested in the message: sex positivity, sex worker’s rights, a light shone on our own cultural shortcomings, and misogyny in general.

Plus, a anytime Don Draper is used as an example, I’m hooked.  Looks like N. and I have another thing in common!

 

 

Someone actually likes my sexy-time writing.

When I started this blog almost a year ago I hoped that I would find my people, my little sexy tribe, if you will.  I was lost, alone, and hurting.  I also hoped that my writing would be good enough to compel people to hang around and actually enjoy themselves.  Today I feel loved and supported by so many more than I could have ever hoped for, many of whom have become relied upon figures in my life — yes, YOU, IBF — and it looks like someone likes my writing, too!!

Rori, of Between My Sheets, laboriously reads hundreds of blogs that are submitted to her each summer and picks a Top 100.  I’m number fucking 3!  I can’t believe it!  3!!  Jesus Christ, you could knock me over with a feather.  Not only did I make the list, but some of my friends did, too, like D i i r r t y, Kyle Mew, Heather & Nikki, H.H., Theo Black, LSAM, Fatal, and CC Some of my favorites aren’t on there because they didn’t meet the criteria for blog age, in case you were wondering.

It’s such a great honor to be mentioned among so many terrific reads and I’m humbled that someone like Rori likes my words.  Truly.

The other neat thing about this list is that it will expand my horizons and help me discover new talents, new worlds, and new friends.  For instance, I’ve never heard of Harper Elliot from (It Girl. Rag Doll), but I can’t wait to check out this person (shit, I don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl!)!

Damn.  I’m still freaking out about this, totally overwhelmed.  I know I shouldn’t get too excited about it because like any award it doesn’t define my work or me or anything else about my writing — and it certainly doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone else on the list or otherwise — but fucking-A, I can’t help but have this gigantic smile on my face.  I wish y’all could see it.  It goes really well with the dried cum on my breasts.

This is where I’d put a gabillion little hearts and rainbow star-bursts and unicorns if I could.  This is also where I do a little happy dance with my fingers pointed in the air Travolta-like.  Woot!

xx
Hy

Between My Sheets
1. Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss @mollysdailykiss
2. EA from Easily Aroused @EasilyAroused
3. Hyacinth Jones from A Dissolute Life Means…
4. Cheeky Minx from Love Hate Sex Cake @LoveHateSexCake
5. Amy from Anal Amy @AnalAmy
6. My Trousers Rolled from My Trousers Rolled @rolledtrousers
7. Sexual Life of a Wife from Sexual Life of a Wife
8. Dark Gracie from Gracie’s Playground @darkgracie
9. diirrty from d i i r r t y
10. nilla from Vanillamom’s Blog @swirlednilla
11. Suggestive Tongue from Suggestive Tongue @Suggestive
12. Sunny Megatron from Sunny Megatron @SunnyMegatron
13. Aisha from Being Aisha
14. Dev from Delving to Deviance
15. Amie Wee from Crevice Canyon @crevicecanyon
16. Remittance Girl from Remittance Girl @remittancegirl
17. Lady Dragonfly from Lady Dragonfly @miladydragonfly
18. paltego from Femdom Resource
19. Bella Blush from Clean, Moral, Polite
20. Girl on the Net from Girl on the Net @girlonthenet
21. Clarisse Thorn from Clarisse Thorn @clarissethorn
22. Kyle Mew from Kyle Mew @kylemmew
23. Violet+Rye from Uncommon Appetites @UCAppetites
24. Mina and Sylvanus from At Longing’s End @mydesire and @sylvanus
25. Athol Kay from Married Man Sex Life
26. Heather and Nikki from Vagina Antics @Heather_Cole1 and @Nikki_Blue1
27. Ferns from Domme Chronicles @Ferns__
28. Conina from Exploring Surrender
29. Kaya from Under His Hand
30. Joan Price from Better Than I Ever Expected @joanprice
31. Dumb Domme from Dumb Domme @DumbDomme
32. Sadie from That’s What Sadie Said
33. Nikki from Nikki True @Thenikkitrue
34. Lucas Brooks from Top To Bottom @Top2Bottom
35. HH and Lo from My Sex Life with Lola
36. Harper Elliot from (It Girl. Rag Doll) @HarperEliot
37. Charlie Glickman from Charlie Glickman @charlieglickman
38. Lady Cheeky from Smut for Smarties @Lady_Cheeky
39. TemptingSweets999 from Tempting Sweets: Story Heat
40. Monocle, Redbud, and Ximena from The Erotic Writer @_Monocle_ and @_Ximena_Writes_
41. Happy BDSM from Happy BDSM
42. Charlie Nox from Charlie Nox @charlienox
43. Theo Black from Theo Black
44. Chrystal Bougon from Better Sex from Bliss @blissconnection
45. Rockin from Light Switch @RockinwithaCock
46. Dr. Marty Klein from Sexual Intelligence @drmartyklein
47. Miranda an Aaron from The Swinger’s Attic
48. Karen from Kissing Blue Karen @kissinbluekaren
49. Axe from Unspeakable Axe @unspeakableaxe
50. Peroxide from Submissive in Seattle @Peroxide__
51. Rachel Rabbit White from Rachel Rabbit White @rabbitwhite
52. Jill McDevitt from A Day in the Life of a Sexologist
53. LSAM from Love, Sex and Marriage
54. Hubman from Hubman’s Hangout @hubman38
55. Coyote’s Kitten from Kitten’s Paw Prints in Slavery @coyoteskitten
56. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross from Dodson and Ross @dodsonandross
57. Daisy Danger from The True Life Sex Adventures of Daisy Danger @daisydanger
58. Oatmeal Girl from Submission & Metaphor @oatmeal_girl
59. Fatal from You Linger Like a Haunting Refrain
60. Ruby Ryer from Pegging Paradise @Ruby_Ryder
61. Kyle Jones from Butchtastic
62. Anakin and padme from Journey to the Darkside @AnakinDarth and @padmeamidala
63. Lady Pandorah from Lady Panorah’s Sanctuary @ladypandorah
64. Marie Rebelle from Rebel’s Notes @rebelsnotes
65 Thumper from Denying Thumber @thumperMN
66. Jade from Pieces of Jade @piecesofjade
67. Jason Stotts from Erosophia @jstotts
68. BD Swain from Leaning How To Tell You @redswain
69. Bre from Owned, Collared, Loved
70. Dangerous Lilly from This Could Be Dangerous @dangerouslilly
71. Modesty Ablaze from Modesty Ablaze @ablazingmodesty
72. Suzanne from All Mine
73. Kitty from My Secret Life
74. Domina Victoria Rage from Domina Victoria Rage @VictoriaRage
75. Sin from Finding My Submission
76. Maggie Mayhem from Miss Maggie Mahem @msmaggiemayhem
77. Artemisia Absinthium from Absinth Cocktail @ArtiAbsinthium
78. N. Likes from My Dissolute Life @nlikes
79. TheOthers1 from Undue Creativity
80. Roxy from Uncommon Curiosity @sroxy
81. Mollena from The Perverted Negress @Mollena
82. Jerome from Let’s Talk About Sex
83. Liza from Always Each Other @lizawrites
84. Figleaf from Real Adult Sex @talkingfigleaf
85. Red Vinyl Kitty from The Sub Mission @The_Sub_Mission
86. Omega and Mouse from The Power Exchange @talesofmouse
87. Innocent Loverboy from Innocent Loverboy @innocentlb
88. Shelby Cross from Shelby Cross, Writer
89. Blacksilk from Being Blacksilk @BlacksilkBlog
90. Kaleigh Trace from Fucking Facts @TheFuckingFacts
91. Romantic Dominant from A Faded Romantic’s Notebook
92. BiLikesSciFi from A Tale of Bi and Bi @bi_and_bi
93. Curvaceous Dee from Curvaceous Dee @curvaceousdee
94. Evoe Thorne from My Whole Sex Life @WholeSexLife
95. Ponyboy from Marriage in the Bedroom @Ponyboy0000
96. Jack and Jill from Frisky in the 916 @jackandjillcpl and @jillandjackcpl
97. The Gentle Nibbles Writing Team from Gentle Nibbles @gentlenibbles
98. Kitty from The Submissive Wife
99. Kat from She Makes the Rules

100. YOU! As always, I want to leave a place on this list for ALL the awesome sex bloggers out there! So please leave a comment on Between My Sheets with your name/URL to tell us about your sexy blog!

I can be a Top 100 Sex Blogger of 2012.

And I truly want to be considered one of them.

Rori, over at Between My Sheets (she’s in my blogroll) does a yearly Top 100 Sex Bloggers List.  It’s reader nominated and somehow  my old, dead blog is on last year’s list.  It’d be great if I could get my new and much improved one on there also.

Last year, I found a number of amazing new blogs once I realized I was on the list.  I was honored and humbled beyond belief.  I couldn’t believe it.

More than anything, her list is a wonderful conglomeration of excellent sex writing and new-found blogs.  The internet is too vast to find everyone on your own.  Her list boils it down and makes a concentrated effort to bring the best to us.  However, so far I don’t see any of my amazing writer-friends nominated over there yet!  We need to get our buns in gear and nominate like crazy!!

The deets are straight forward: bloggers can’t nominate themselves; voters need to be clear on the urls; blog content needs to be sex-related; the blog needs to be public and at least a year old or as old as Jan 2012; and nominations end August 31st.

Click here to vote for your favorites!

If I didn’t nominate you, it’s not because I don’t think you’re fantastic.  Honestly, some blogs slipped my mind and others I couldn’t figure out if they were eligible or not, and I wanted to keep my list as close to 5 as possible.  So I’m extremely sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings.  There will be plenty of love to pass around later, I promise!  Here’s who I nominated:

AM from Accidental Masturbator – he gives such a different side of everything sexual and from a male perspective to boot.  His British clip is unmistakable, his pervy mind admirable.

Sweet Bi from Only Partly Erotic – my brother in fucking arms, Bi brings us into his semi-tormented world of sex, lust and infidelity with honest rancor and a subtle, yet sexy, hand.  He is often on my mind.

Fatal of You Linger Like a Haunting Refrain – she once described herself as a “tiny tornado”, I think, and it’s never left my mind.  She struggles with balance and calm while fucking her brains out.

The ethereal Alice of The Story of Alice – she writes with flowing prose of sex and love and crushes and gender-bending friends who frolic in the dark streets of a large city.  Her kisses are measured, yet passionate, her words refined.

Jayne of Diary Incarnate – she is struggling through divorce and the cloud of pain and doubt that consumes her, yet her passions and desires burn against the oppression of her life.  Her words sear.

The ubiquitous LSAM of Love Sex and Marriage – LSAM writes with a clarity of voice not commonly found.  She’s bright, sexy, and articulate, and her posts are filled with equal amounts of mirth and information.

And lastly, sweet Dawn, of Pivoine68 – her gut-wrenching writings about self-doubt, sex, and betrayal grip my heart from across the pond.  I want to cradle her head in my lap and dribble white wine down her throat.