I want an entire day dedicated to sex and play, but no one else does.

In a way, I’ve struck out twice.

When I was with Jason last Saturday I told him how one of my fantasies was to spend an entire day with a lover, with him, wherein we would fuck and play all day long. He looked at me as he buckled his pants and said, “I don’t know what you think I can do, but I’m only human.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I think I may have stammered, but I bet it came out much more smoothly than that. “Well, I just mean we fuck, rest, play, cuddle, eat, take lots of breaks, but the point of the whole day is to be naked and hedonistic.”

I couldn’t believe I was quantifying it. He sort of shrugged.

Then, I said the same exact thing to The Neighbor and his reaction was similar.


Two young men with strong, healthy bodies and appetites telling me that they couldn’t hang because (and here’s where I’ll fill in the blank for you) I’m insatiable and have unrealistic expectations of them. It’s like I’m married all over again, because, yeah, I’ve never had a day where the bed was the central focus and breaks were for rest, refueling, and revelry.

I’ve been told by some that I am an athletic lover and that they can’t keep up with me. I don’t know if that’s a compliment or a lamentation. My body is far from athletic appearing, let me assure you (size 12 does that to ya), but I admit to pushing myself to my utter limits physically when it comes to fucking. I relish every second. Especially with these younger men; I refuse to be the “old lady” in the bed who needs a rest first. And, to date, I’ve kept my word to myself.

So, what is it that’s so off-putting about my fantasy? I thought all men, young and old, dreamed of a woman who wanted just that. It’s not like I don’t give exactly as much as I get; they wouldn’t be the ones just pumping away like a prize stallion with a line of mares.

It hurt to see their reactions. I’ve tried to rationalize it as maybe it’s something they reserve for a girlfriend or someone they feel strongly about and therefore doing that with me seems somehow distasteful; or maybe they think it’d feel like a job to them, that I wouldn’t treat them like a human being with needs. I just don’t know. But the resistance feels so much like my sex life with my ex-husband. A wonderful, loving, handsome man who was outstripped by my desires and drive within 6 months of dating and certainly beaten down by the end of 7 years.

The theme of my marriage — in so many ways — was I was too much for him. And the extremely lukewarm reception to my fantasy suggestion seems to back it up.

It just makes me sad.


A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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26 thoughts on “I want an entire day dedicated to sex and play, but no one else does.
  1. you just described my marriage. I’ve said the same thing my husband and he looks at me like I have two heads. It is very, very sad indeed.

  2. You Killing me here Hyacinth, at 50 I am finally starting to realize I’m not 18 anymore. I can still out work and out drink all the kids I work with. Part of that is willpower, drive. I just need a little longer to recover now. Its time to work smarter not harder.

    I dated a girl years ago who was a nympho we fucked two or three times a day every day I lost weight it was fun. It turned out she was fucking one of my friends too while I was at work. Then it was a deal breaker when I caught them. Now hell, I would welcome a mulligan she was smoking hot and I am better equiped to deal with things now at my age.
    The question is could I spend the whole day in bed with dynamo like you and survive. Checklist gatoraide, fresh pineapple, couple of bananas. Number for a good chinese delivery, lots of towels Yup I think I’m good to go. If not I’m not against asking for help like I once was.


  3. Oh my dear Hyacinth. Maybe those fellas don’t want it, but not all of us are like them. What you described sounds like my dream vacation. Not just a day, but several, a full week of nothing but nudity, cuddling, feeding each other, lovemaking, fucking, and any other form of physical debauchery you can think of.

  4. Hy, it seems like they are solely focusing on the actual act of sex… But of course that’s not what you want. It’s about being sexual all day… You said it — hedonistic. They suck! And have NO idea what they are missing out on…

  5. I run into the same obstacle. Men around these parts simply look at me like I’ve grown a pair of horns and my skin turned red. It’s crazy.

    Trust me when I say, you are not asking for too much!!! A day dedicated to sex and play. Screw Valentine’s Day. I’d take your holiday for at least it would be a holiday I’d not avoid like the plague!!! Could you imagine the greeting cards?

  6. I find it strange they said no. I’m in my mid 20’s and I actually trying to schedule a day like this with someone I’m sleeping with. Once work settles, and assuming we’re still intimate, it will be a day of fucking. But I’ll stick up for them a tad. Maybe they are just afraid after a while they won’t cum/it’ll be painful and they don’t want to look weak in the sack. I mean, I AM a stud in bed ( hehe ;), but there’s only a few good showings per day in there. Maybe paint it as let just do sexy things, but we’ll hold off cumming as long as possible the first one/two times?

    Or you could have duds. I’m sure you can find someone who is a bit more willing.

    1. Maybe you’re onto something there, who knows, but I’m completely realistic. It’s about the goal of the day, not how many times he can cum/fuck me. I’m beginning to think it is a youth thing…

  7. I could spend a full day in bed dedicated to sex, but to get it done there would have to the Lonesome Dove mini series playing on TV or at minimum, all the John Hughes movies one right after another. There’s no sense in lying about it. I don’t even think it is my advanced age (I’m 48), I think it takes more than just my wife to keep me interested for more than twenty or thirty minutes (and while I’m being honest, it is usually closer to ten). Now if we had a visitor in bed with us, that would be a different story.

    Of course, husbands like me are probably why wives cheat!

  8. I think that they’re too familiar with you. Not “been there, done that”, just familiar. They’ve had wild times with you already, and they know that it’ll probably happen again. But if you get someone new to you – one-nighter or someone that has only had one or two encounters – they may not have the energy or ability, but they’ll have more WILLINGNESS to try. May not solve any intimacy or emotional needs you have for the day,though…

  9. Im ready to take that bullet for you..lol. When and where do I sign up. Actually I have the same fantasy but for an entire weekend.

  10. Rincewind recommended your blog, and its a treat.

    My lovers also tire of sex before I do. It’s a downer, but I don’t think it’s personal. Some people just aren’t interested in an hour of pumping with half-hour rest-breaks.

    1. Man… It doesn’t have to be that arduous!! Just let the fucking be center stage for a couple of days, I say: nibble food, shower, a long walk, a movie, a shit ton of fucking, rinse, repeat :)

      And thanks! Welcome!

  11. I’ve done it! With minimal preparations, nowhere else to be, and the phone(s) turned off, it’s a memorable event to stay naked all day and play like you’re the only two people on the planet. I recommend having pre-cooked food in advance so you don’t even have to dress for pizza delivery, and obtain a few mutually interesting porn flicks (or at least hot mainstream movies with some very steamy love scenes). I know… not everyone enjoys porn, but if the TV is already playing something sensual when you get all entangled in sex with your partner, collapse from exhaustion, sleep, then awake to erotic images… well … it can be downright inspiring! Don’t forget to pick up some whipped cream. = p

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