I don’t listen well.

A chat I just had with The Neighbor.

Him: What are you doing?

Me (as I rub his cock from the outside of his gym shorts): Admiring your cock.

Him: Ok.

Me:  You’re coming over later, right?

Him: No.

Me: No?  You said last night you would come over late.

Him: I said I might come over late.

Me: Jesus Christ.  I guess I need to get it in writing then.  You told me last night that you’d come over at 11.

Him: No, I said I might come over and if I did it’d be at 11.

Me: Ok.  Fine.  Have a good work out.

We move to his doorway for him to leave and me to go home.

Him (motioning to my two bags of trash by my door):  I might be too tired after taking out all this trash.

Me: I don’t need you to take out my trash.  See ya.

Him (picking up the bags): Buh-bye.

I let the wind swing my door shut hard and resist the temptation to loudly lock the dead bolt in petulant defiance.  My heart shudders with the door jamb.

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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31 thoughts on “I don’t listen well.
  1. I think you listen very well. It’s not that you don’t get the message … you just don’t want to accept it. Sigh.


    1. I really, really didn’t hear the “might”. I think it’s bullshit. You think I should lock my door tonight??

      He also suggested Sunday night that he should stay the night with me tonight to help me break in my new bed. We talked about it again yesterday and I said it was a great idea. Then he said it’d be late when he came over. I’d said, “It’s always late.”

      You can see my confusion, I’m sure.

      It’s definitely not that I don’t get the message. I do. Just, which message is it??

    2. well these last couple of weeks, we’ve all been “fooled” … Hy is on Cloud #9, things with TN are just going swimmingly … TN is really learning to care about and show his affection for our heroine. Maybe even he will admit that they are destined to be an item. Well, I’m no longer buying it. TN is a selfish pig, and he continues to use you as a door mat. There … I said it. Over to you Babe.

      1. that’s what we’re here for Babe … you help us keep our peckers charged, and we’ll help you feel better. ;-)


      2. I still disagree on the “selfish pig” part. He’s not at all. He just doesn’t know how I’m feeling because I’m keeping it hidden.

  2. Hy – only one thing went through my head when I read this …”you deserve better than being posted up by someone whose made it clear you’re always going to be on the side.”

    *sighs and punches couch cushion for you*


    1. I had this very conversation with my shrink today. You’re definitely on to something. On the off chance he does come by tonight, I’m of a mind to turn him away. Don’t know if I could… but it’s nice to think about.

      Also, remember when I only had awesome sex stories to write?? Fuck.

  3. To quote Eleanor Roosevelt loosely, no one can take advantage of you without your permission.

    All I can say, is if it were me, I’d lock the door. You do what is the truth of where you are. You’ve got me either way.

    Luv you, GC

    1. Love you, too, Gill. Thanks for your support. But, honestly, my mettle won’t be tested tonight. He won’t come by. I’m certain of it. It’s ok. I have Law and Order: SVU, a hydrocodone, and a glass of wine to keep me busy. Oh! Plus, the promise of a pain-free night for a change!

    2. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 12:30 to his knock.

      He put me to bed and we watched Game of Thrones with no fanfare. Then, with his mouth hovering over mine he asks, “You know what time it is?” I say, “No.” And he says, “Time for me to go home,” and whisks his lips away.

      He made sure I was safe, then left.

  4. You know me and advice… so sending love… and maybe a care package with three deadbolts. One for the door. One for your heart. And one for that space between your legs that seems to be attached to your heart these days. ; ) Just do what you gotta do babe. Adore you no matter what.

  5. Deadbolts.. awesome. Noodle could be a genius :) And I’m of a mind to agree with Mike up above.. selfish pig seems to suit him. Men who toy with emotions piss me the fuck off…. oh wait… I’m a magnet for mind fuckers… dammit. Ok. I should not be handing out my two cents on this considering my history….. good luck, hun.

    1. Ha! The thing is, I’m certain he has no idea. I’m not doing him any favors by hiding my displeasure. I need to work on that, for sure.

      And I was unfair last night. He fondled my breast and took care of me (put me to bed); it wasn’t that bad. Also, we can’t fuck right now (he’s waiting on test results from a dr).

      Anyway, thanks for your support and I apologize for not giving all the details.

  6. Super naive girl talking: I don’t know that what you wrote is so bad.

    You’ve said that he is a good guy and that he is a little young. Well, from the point of view of someone good natured and inexperienced in relationships, I am a little lost what he is doing wrong.

    With the garbage he was saying: “notice me.” “Look, what I’m doing for you. I am not required to, but I am doing this because I care for you.”

    The no sex, is because he came over to see *you*. You say that he only does what he wants. He wanted to spend time with you. From my naive standpoint he is being considerate, and respectful.

    I am curious what the advice his friends give about you. Can you ask him?

    Ok, so that is my point of view. Just point me in the direction of the stocks in your town square.

    Hugs and hugs (please accept them even if I am nuts :-)) ~

    1. Dawn, not naive at all!! I was defensive when I posted that and really disappointed. And I was hugely unfair to him (we’re currently on a sex hiatus due to a medical condition of his).

      When he came over later he was affectionate, but then left. Again, I was just disappointed in general and out of sorts.

      I need to get a grip! I’m so embarrassed!

      1. I have to say naive, because I am, and I don’t want to fly under false pretenses. Truly, me sharing an opinion at all is ridiculous and due to your kindness. We all have issues, and my lack of experience is one of mine.

        As for pain, that I can understand.

        As for you being embarrassed, you have no cause. You feel, and you do it honestly. I have much respect for you.

        Take good care ~

  7. Technically, they fact that he came over, watched TV with you and left without sex is a lot more closer to the relationship you want with him. Otherwise, it would have simply been a booty call. Hey, I love the details just as much as everyone else, but if he didn’t have some feelings for you, why come over just to watch TV without getting some?

    1. You may be right, and as I’ve been updating this morning, more is going on than what I shared (we can’t have sex for a little while). I was just really disappointed. Plus, I was pissed at feeling so out of control… It’s my problem, really. He’s a sweet man. Truly.

  8. Hy, My dear you need to be taken in hand. Think back to our first exchange and my hesitation to comment. I have followed your ups and downs, tears of happiness and of pain. You are a wonderful writer your prose and content is titilating and exciting. Your true life stories of sexual conquest and openness regaling us with your promiscuous adventures is a heady roller coaster. Between the lines of your lascivious stories lies a girl in conflict. I see fragments of TN from your comments He is a kind person of that there is no doubt. but I also see the struggles you have with defining yourself and your actions. One moment you give yourself freely the next you want to lock yourself away both emotionally and physically. There is something to be said for the maturity TN despite his age. While you have been struggling to define your interactions like a compass too near iron TN has been taking you as you are at your best and worst. Its a shame he isn’t more dominant. IMHO you need the firm hand of a confident man to center you and bring this wayward girl back on course.

    This is one of those times when I am thankful your posts are moderated, Please delete this comment if you like I mean no malice my thoughts are filled with compassion and concern.

    Hugs Cruel

    1. Dear Cruel, your words all ring true and there’s no need for me to keep this from everyone. I see what you’re saying. I feel completely lost and out of control and would like nothing more than a firm hand. I need so little to right me, but I have no clue how to ask for it.

      I am so lucky you take even 30 seconds out of your life to share your thoughts with me. Thank you. I will keep trying to be patient, flexible and accepting of myself and the situation.

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