His penis is lemon-y.

I was trying to be cute and flirty by sending him a pic of his beautifully massive erection this morning.

He came over last night after Peyton was in bed to show me a sunburn, but ended up revealing my black lace panties beneath his shorts instead — and a boner to end all boners.

So, I snapped pics of his delicious bubble butt, our legs tangled, my hand on his ass, a rear view shot with his dangling nut sack falling out of the lace basket, and some with the cock itself bursting out of the top of the lace towards the camera lens. It was one of those I sent.

But autocorrect decided to reveal how dorky — and unsexy — I really am.

:: sigh ::


A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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29 thoughts on “His penis is lemon-y.
  1. See even that bra is pretty I can’t find a pretty bra to fit my huge boobs around here.. Functional and not pretty is what I end up with.. sighs. That is exactly why I turned off autocorrect. I usually self check before sending so that is so unneeded but makes for some funny things..

    1. Believe it or not, this is a hand me down bra from my best friend and it’s a 32 or 34 and I need a 36. It does wonders for my cleavage, but bruises my ribs. I put up with the pain, though ;)

    1. He’s not crazy big, but he’s pretty large. 9″ long and ~8″ girth, I guess? It’s the *perfect* size for me. I will cry for more reason than one when we end it.

      Lemme k ow how it goes calling it your lemons ;)

        1. Yeah, hell if I know what 8″ girth looks like. I may have had a couple of lovers in the past that big and I definitely walked bowlegged the next day ;)

  2. This made me think of the line “Squeeze me baby till the juice runs down my leg/The way you squeeze my lemon, I’m gonna fall right out of bed” (Led Zeppelin “The Lemon Song”, borrowing heavily from Robert Johnson “Traveling Riverside Blues”).

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