It’s been a few months now since The Neighbor and I entered into another layer of D/s and I became in control of his masturbation practices.
Our original foray into D/s was borne out of intense curiosity to see if it would fit us; he’d been spanking me for nearly a year and controlling our interactions, but I was miserable and he was a slippery little thing, perhaps miserable, too. That was definitely not working for us.
When I finally heard him, actually listened to his words about being submissive in the past — deliberately and with a real Domme — and how much he loved to vacuum for me bound in my skimpy lace panties, I opened a cupboard door into a part of me to which I hadn’t given any merit. And then it liberated us.
We dipped our toes into the power pool and suddenly we were both more relaxed, tall and serene. He still wasn’t committing to me or saying he loved me, but there was something else there, a stronger, newer connection that bound us even tighter. Roots were growing.
There have been mostly ups since we started this new side of us and I have learned mountains of information about the both of us: like how I am not a sadist, but I like welts, how I like having control over his pain because I can make it stop, how my position better allows me to express my needs from strength and not fear; and how he needs to feel trust and kind words during moments of consensual weakness, how he wants me to stand up for myself and keep him in line.
We fuck an average of a dozen times a month and 2-3 of those are me in total charge. Spankings, nipple clamps, him falling the fuck apart. The rest are laced with my domination and I top from the bottom with a big fat fucking smile on my face. And mostly all of our clothed sexual interactions are via D/s.
The innuendos, the spanks, the demands, the rules. So that means I also have had to come up with punishments. A real punishment, not something he would outrightly enjoy, though, that is how I prefer to deliver my blows.
He confessed to me the other day that he had masturbated without my permission. I thanked him for telling me, because I knew he was afraid, and we talked about why and I shelved it for later.
The next morning, I came up with a plan:
Ok, I’ve thought some more about you jerking off. I’m upset bc you didn’t send me a pic like I always say to do (& you broke your promise, but that can’t be helped now). So, to start over fresh, this is your punishment: you’re allowed to jerk off 3x bn now and next Tuesday but you must 1st ask my permission, 2nd, if it’s late and I don’t respond, then you must make a video of it, and 3rd, regardless of 1 or 2, you must take pics. So this means I expect 3 pics at least, if not some videos, of your gorgeous cock. You can also jerk off in front of me, too, thereby eliminating the need for pics :)
He said it was “tough, but fair.”
I said, “Good boy,” relieved to hear it, but knowing there was really nothing else he could say.
Thursday night, sick as a dog, I convinced him to jerkoff next to me. It was, quite literally, the highlight of my miserable day to watch his body tense and vibrate then jerk into his blurry hand, milky white jizz quickly mopped up by a tissue I had ready. I had three boxes of them littered about me, after all.
And this morning, this happened:

I’m not certain if he actually jerked off right then or of he was asking for his lunch break, but either way, I’m looking forward to the pics and I feel strong in my position yet again.
I never would have guessed how hot him asking me for permission could be — never — but goddamn. This punishment stuff sure does feel good. Almost as good as everything else with him does.
Well DAMN. :D
;)
The granting of permission and the fulfilling of that task is a richly rewarding part of the relationship. Well done and good luck. The Picture will encourage many others
It is! Who knew? Certainly not me!
An interesting glimpse into your journey together, and I’m glad that you both listened and found something that worked.
Me too. I think it saved us.
Sweet that is so awesome. I love when my members ask me if it is okay to cum. I am like oh yes please do it is my favorite part too.
It’s a heady feeling!
You two have come so far. :) Have you considered playing with the dynamic a little further and sometimes refusing him permission to masturbate?
Honestly, I haven’t. It’s complicated. :)
Is it ever any other way?!
XO
Yes, I’m interested too in what Silverdom is asking…
And this post, along with a few others of yours or other blogs, just inspired me to write something of my own… It’s now me who cannot focus on anything else and spend my waking hours thinking about what I want to write (since I don’t really have much more to do for now!).
So thanks for that too :-)
You’re welcome! I’ll check it out…
I noticed the pic of you at the bottom of the text exchange and forgot what I was going to say…
Then I did it right!
I love where you guys are right now. You’ve done it girl. You’ve found that elusive balance. And I couldn’t be more proud of my friend.
It’s so great to see how much you have grown into your D/s relationship. :-)
You two are great for each other.
Asking for permission is extremely hot and when I do it changes everything for me… It makes everything feel more intense. :-)
Happy Friday Hy.
xoxox
Wow.
You are a special, sassy, fun lady, Hy.
Good for you!
I do what I can ;)
And you do it in an unforgettable stye all your own.
I love telling my female friends when I’m jerking off thinking about them. And most of them love it too.
It’s hot as shit.