I found Two More Dissolutes – May edition

I’m enjoying this thing N. Likes and I are doing; it’s forcing me to peek my head out of my hole.

Hy’s Pick:

Pyx Syncopation

Hy’s Thoughts:

This month, I’d like to draw your attention to Pyx Syncopation.  She’s not a complete stranger around these parts as I know many of you are her friends, but she’s kinda new to me and that’s the point of this whole thing.

Pyx is introspective about her actions, where she came from, and she leads a very sexual life (husband, boyfriend, plus dates) which she categorizes as a high priority in her life.  When I read her, I find myself nodding and hmm’ing and thinking, “I’d like a drink with this woman!”  I also get turned on, something which rarely happens to me from personal sex blogs.  Ironic, right?

In fact, as I was researching this month’s pick, I found myself embarrassingly turned on with my baby in the other room watching Scooby Doo.  If The Neighbor were here with us, I might give him a quick blowjob or have him stick it in for a quick orgasm, but when I’m on my own… well, I just feel pervy and teased.

Anyway, she did it to me, her writing.  Her frank appraisal of her motivations, her frustrations, her descriptive, yet casual prose.

The piece I’m thinking of  in particular was this one, Sexual Habitual II, written just three days ago.  Her husband knows everything she needs and wants and does it in this vignette, wordlessly, like a symbiotic dance partner.  And it turned me the fuck on.

N.’s thoughts:

Ooh, yeah. This is a good blog. A smart person, writing smartly, about sex and relationships and stuff. Yay! Thank you, Hy!

Like Hy, I rarely get turned on reading personal sex blogs. In fact, I rarely read personal sex blogs. They really don’t do much for me. But this is much more than just a 21st century version of an annotated notched bedpost. I like!

N. Likes’ Pick:

Tits and Sass

This month, I call your attention to this blog. The blog is a group blog run by sex workers, mostly in the U.S., but internationally as well. I discovered the blog, I suspect, following a trail from Maggie McNeill’s “The Honest Courtesan,” a blog that is overwhelmingly good, and that I’ve written about many times before – and that I list in my blogroll off to the side over there —->.

Tits and Sass is widely varied – because it’s a group blog, it features all sorts of stuff, ranging from Stoya’s writing trenchantly about SNL’s poor parodies of porn stars to a “cam girl” writing about the experience of “Downsizing My Rack.” I’m finding lots to read on the blog, and lots that’s interesting.

There’s lots to choose from on the blog, but my pick for “Two More Dissolutes” this month is “Loving Don Draper: Economics and Intimacy in an Abolitionist World.” Because, you know, I love Mad Men, am fascinated with the Don Draper character, and I like sex, and have enjoyed consuming the services of sex workers, even if it was, for me, mostly in a deeply unhappy context that I did so.

Read the post. It’s a bit academic (it has ten footnotes). But it’s very thought-provoking and informative. It’s sort of the opposite of last month’s link. It delves deep, both emotionally and theoretically, into just how and why sex work can be complicated, in a way that is honest and raw, and at the same time, disciplined and thoughtful.

I wish to god there were more writing like this from johns, from the consumers of the services of sex workers. Sadly, though, the province of writing and thinking about the meaning and consequences of the commodification of sex, and the business of selling sex, is limited almost exclusively to women. (If anyone knows any interesting writing by men on the subject, please, please point me in that direction. I’m hungry for it.)

Hy’s thoughts:

I’m always fascinated by sex workers and their experiences.  Whenever I had no money, I used men and my body for nice dinners and without shame or guile.  I’m pretty sure we all knew what was up — it’s the economics of dating — but I was never able to make the jump to actual sex work.  I was simply too afraid of being caught by the police.  (I get nervous when a mall cop passes me.)

This piece N. chose is particularly interesting to me because of its peek into the emotional management side of sex work (managing the “SOFFS”, for example).  A sex worker has to shore up her arsenal of feminist logic, explain “abolitionist feminism,” I’m sure, too, be on guard on guard on guard.  It sounds mostly exhausting.  I wish sex work were different here, safer, regulated like all the other work we get paid to do. Maybe a little easier.

What’s the difference between emotional intimacy and physical intimacy?  At this point, a few laws and a judgement or two.

Anyway, I admit to skimming parts of the post simply because the paragraphs were too large and I needed more time and space to process.  That’s not a knock against the writer as much as it’s an admission to my own mental deficiencies.  But I liked her tying in Don Draper, his personal shame and anger, into people’s projections onto sex workers (dirty whores!).

It was thought provoking and made me feel a little bit smarter.  I’m not all that interested in all the politics, per se, but I am interested in the message: sex positivity, sex worker’s rights, a light shone on our own cultural shortcomings, and misogyny in general.

Plus, a anytime Don Draper is used as an example, I’m hooked.  Looks like N. and I have another thing in common!



A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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6 thoughts on “I found Two More Dissolutes – May edition
  1. I’ll have to check out these blogs. Though, if the second is long, I may wait a while before I do. Reading long posts on a screen or phone is hard on the eyes.

  2. Absolutely love Pyx! She is one of the first blogs I found when I started by own blogging journey that I’ve managed to stay faithful too. She’s intelligent and articulate and makes me want to step up my game when writing. Pyx is thought provoking and challenges one to think outside the box or norm with her written word, all the while bringing a smile to your face. She’s a no bullshit woman who will tell you like it is, a rare treat indeed.

  3. I read both. I liked Hy’s pick very much.
    I was interested in N.’s pick too, but there were too many big words for me, so I did as Hy, skipped many parts. Probably yesterday wasn’t the best day for me to try and read such a post :-)
    Thank you both for sharing.

  4. I have to agree that reading about the sycopation of Pyx is always an enjoyable experience. I have found her blog to be educational, sexual, and funny. This woman is one of my idols, she doesn’t take shit from anyone and knows what she wants/likes.

  5. Well, well, well… this explains the traffic to my blog!

    I recently emailed an old friend back in Canada, who copied my email address to paste it into the address bar. Later that evening she was researching something, thinking she had copied a new search phrase, went to paste it in google but instead it was my email address which is also my blog id. She found this blog review.

    She quickly called me “it said “husband, boyfriend, plus dates” and I knew it was you!” we laughed but she insisted on reading me your blog entry.

    The reason for my mentioning this is because your review is terribly kind, dare I say makes my blog sound more interesting than it really is; I would like to thank you for branching out and putting me under consideration for your readers.

    I am sometimes oblivious to ‘wordpress’ protocols, as a woman that does not google herself nor do I follow people just because they follow me, and I have never given much consideration to blog ‘awards’. I felt it is worth mentioning today because what you wrote is a great compliment. I am sincere in my gratitude and this is not simply blogers placation but traffic, and kind sentiment aside, I am more so pleased that you not only took the time to (actually) read my blog but enjoyed what you read: Scooby Doo in the next room and all.

    My friends know me, well obviously enough that one could recognize it was about me by just a few words, but you used the word symbiotic and I thought I would share this with you: my husband calls me ‘The Alien’ (not because I am from Canada) and my ID code is Symbiote 339.

    Once again, thank you.

    1. You are so very welcome, Pyx! It was such a pleasure to find you basically in my own backyard and I was happy to give you some internet love. You certainly deserve it!

      Also, I just Googled “Hyacinth Jones” for the first time and all I can say is SORRY REAL HYACINTH JONESES! :)

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