I’m all ears.


I’m happy and hopeful, yet filled with a strange kind of familiar emptiness. It’s not depression, it’s realization.

I don’t want to recreate a life where I’m always grasping, always wanting and needing more. I want a life where happiness feels possible, not a pipe dream.

Sex is a small lifeline lately, counter-balanced with a quick mutual masturbation session. It keeps swinging from old TN and Hy to a bleak comfort. A stiff drink to get me through. I don’t know…

Career, me, my baby. We’re all going the right direction. The rest that surrounds it is less acquiescent, it seems. But I’m not even sure where it’s supposed to be.

I have lots on my mind about this blog: a reader’s question to answer, Boobday, thoughts about my body, your bodies, and a deep, burning secret I want to share.

I’m sorry for my absence from you all. I’ve been with you in spirit if not in comments.

I’m still here, listening. Talk to me. Please. I know you’re there, but I am blind.

And a little lonely.

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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40 thoughts on “I’m all ears.
  1. We are here and we want to hear from you.

    The beauty of our relationship- yours and mine, your and every other reader here – is that you can be truly honest. Open up… Devulge… Spill… Be free.

    This is YOUR safe place. This is your home. You created it. We love it (and you).

  2. Oh Hy!
    Come here, let me give you a big hug!
    I’m sorry you feel lonely.
    Change is always a bit scary, isn’t it?
    I’m glad to read that your career and your baby and you are going into the right direction. That is the most important thing. The rest is just details.
    Much love XO
    Dawn D recently posted…Busy weekendMy Profile

  3. I’ve never commented here before, but I suppose now is as good a time as any.

    Sending positive vibes your way. I’ve been in a rut too but I know it will get better and I’m sure it will for you too.

    Take a moment and smile.


  4. I was wondering where you were…I can just about step into your shoes with you…restlessness is not so easy to wade through, but we are all here to listen or speak with you, whatever you need. I’m sure a few shared drinks and hugs could help as well.

    Share your secrets with us….start a conversation and we will all embrace the beauty of you :)


    1. Restlessness, yes, such a good word! I sometimes fear thaty restlessness is due to a forced kind of naivete on my part, a refusal to accept. I suppose only time will tell. xx Hy

  5. Yes you have been missed. But there is an ebb and a tide to everything, people, work, relationships, love, life. Even when “they” disappear for a while, with trust in the universe, you know “they” will return. Whoever “they” or “it” might be. Have faith. Be well


  6. You have so many that would listen to your words or offer a shoulder, my own included. Maybe there are several, like, that never know if the thoughts would be welcome… You matter, never isolate, it would be a waste… My two cents
    Charles recently posted…One Two ThreeMy Profile

  7. Oh Hy, I feel I must apologise for my absence. I’ve been here, but not knowing where I’m going lufe wise, career, lover, life in general, weird women’s health stuff. I’m feeling a mite confused, lonely & directionless. So I’m hearing you too. :( hugs to you hun.

  8. Hy, I too have missed you xxx Been wondering what has kept you from us (LOL). I think this “restlessness” is a global thing, our school year just started and I’m buried under stationary, books & demands (wish I could runaway for a bit, wanna come??)

    Stay strong my friend, this too shall pass. Keep writing and sharing your thoughts and feelings, it helps.

    RE: Boobday………I am REALLY STRUGGLING with this month’s theme, I think my brain is too busy with so many other things LOL!!


    1. Thanks for the kind words from the other side of the world!

      Re: Boobday, what comes to mind when you think FRESH? Me, i think of showers, flowers, clean sheets and apparel, thoughts, a new pose. Really, ita anything that feels fresh TO YOU! I hope that helps!!

  9. Hy darling,

    I am so sorry you are low and feeling lonely. We are always here to listen and miss you muchly when you are not around. Don’t suffer in silence sweetheart but please, if you are unhappy, hard as it may be, change it, for your own sanity.

    Lots of love

    Bigbuttbbw recently posted…I am doing….My Profile

  10. Hy,

    I loved this post. Speaking more extemporaneously. Hang in there the trajectory of things will change towards the upside. Just do what you do best and that’s be yourself and you’ll come out on top. (In more ways than one…). Must admit my email box looked lonely with out updates from you. You give so much on here and I should share more back with you and everyone on here. BOOBDAY theme is a tough one this month but I get one submitted.

    Hugs Kate

    1. Kate, youre so thoughtful, thank you :)

      I know this month’s theme is tough, but dont over think it. Its whatever FRESH means to you. Is it a color? A feeling? A thing? Youll do great amd i look forward to seeing what you come up with!

  11. Hy,
    I missed you while you were away. All great changes are preceded by chaos.
    Hang in there and know that I/we support you and are cheering you on!
    Hyacinth! Hyacinth!
    (makes me think of the Rocky movies when everyone is chanting….hell, maybe drive around and rock out to Eye of the Tiger. Singing at the top of your lungs is a must! :))

    Take care my friend!

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