I get some fucked up texts.

Oh, Online Dating, how I love you.

You bring me the most amazing little digital gifts in the form of texts, chats, and emails.  Here I’ll share some of my favorites from the last month.

Like this fella who introduced me to some new shorthand.

Bad texts - IIIW::

Or this guy with whom I made a date for a couple of days after this thread who helped me understand that you’ve got to jump on an opportunity the moment it presents itself no matter what the fuck else you’ve got on the hopper.

Bad texts - got a gf
Compliments are nice.


Bad texts -got a gf
Clearly, he’s into me.


Bad texts - got a gf
Until he’s not.


Then you brought me the dude who — in case I wasn’t already clear – helped me clarify my stance on making jokes about rape.

Bad texts - rapey
I wondered if he’d had a small stroke.


Bad texts - Rapey
Or maybe he was drunk?


bad texts - rapey
Or maybe he thought treating me like a misogynistic bro was the way to my heart?


You also put this guy in my path.  He sent me a goat .gif.  Then offered to send me an awkward email from his mother by way of explaining his sense of humor.   I never got back to him on that.   I mean, who doesn’t love goats?

This goat had mad skillz.


And lastly, Online Dating, I have to thank you for this dude who once again reminded me that, just like my mother used to tell me, bragging gets you no where.

Bad texts - eat for hours::

Is it even necessary for me to add what happened next?

I have to be honest that I sorta miss the ongoing IV of humor I have whilst out in front of all the men trying to impress me.  It’s sorta like watching internet cats.

Poor kitty.



A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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13 thoughts on “I get some fucked up texts.
  1. Oh goodness you got so many good ones that weekend. The threesome… rapey… (WTF I didn’t even know that was a word). And oh, the goat and his mad skills.

    Online dating and texting is so weird. I’m happy I have a blog when I get stuff like that because at least I think “ah, well, this sucks, but it will make for a good blog post!”
    Ann St. Vincent recently posted…The beating of my cervix. Then a slow fade.My Profile

  2. Never again Tinder, never again. I was tempted to create a fake ish account and just send guys random as fuck messages just for shits and giggles. Because it seems like that’s what they do.

    1. I know! lol I really did laugh out loud when he sent it. He’s a nice guy, but I’m not feeling it. I’m trying to figure out what to do with him.

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