Eroticon 2016: What do you want to learn from me in my session?

When I thought about attending Eroticon this year I had only one clear goal in mind: talk to people about getting published while I’m there.

It’s long been a dream of mine to transform my blog into a book, but I have no idea how to do it.  Do I self-publish like so many of you?  Do I find a publisher who puts it on paper?  What about an editor?  I’m certain I’d need one of those.  I already have a full time job in addition to the tons of work the blog requires.  When on earth would I find the time to put a book together??

Besides just publishing goals to explore while there, there were also all the people I’d finally get to meet. England, London, all the sexy British people.  It’s not exactly the best time financially for me to go, but fuck it.  When is it ever??

I took the plunge and  purchased the tickets and began to poke around the website and saw that Ruby was calling for panelists.  A panelist you say??  Well, double fuck it.  Go big or go home!

I downloaded the form, thought for a minute about what the fuck I was any good at and then came up with the title for my session:

How to write about [real life] sex and not make it sound like a To Do List.

Too often the recounting of a real life sexual encounter can fall into a list of things that
happened. This session will help you identify ways to make it a literary experience for
your readers.

For example, instead of “We removed our clothes and then we kissed,” you’ll hopefully
learn how to pull from real life, art,and movement and illustrate the scene with more
depth and nuance.

Attendees will learn how to dip into a personal experience – possibly unrelated to sex –
to better illustrate it in a meaningful way.

And for some unknown reason it was accepted.

I still laugh thinking about it.  Do I really sound like I know what I’m talking about?!

So, here’s the deal and what you need to know about me: I am NOT an English teacher. I do NOT make a living off of my writing.  I can’t remember all the names of the grammatical things I’m doing even now as I write.  (Wait, I do know this is a parenthetical thought and that last sentence ended with what’s called a period.)  I cannot help with grammar in a specific way or probably even a “correct” way.  I can’t promise you this won’t be a colossal waste of your time.

What I might do is provide a new perspective, a new leaping off point.  I might give you some new ideas or maybe even some newfound confidence.  I might even not waste your time.  Yay!

What I can do — and what I hope to do — is share with everyone my personal approach.  It seems some of you dig the way that I write and so I’m using that as a springboard for the session.  This will not be a How to Write Like Hy session, but a How Do I Write? session.  I can point out the things I like and dislike about a written scene.  I can do my absolute best to answer all your questions.

I also think there are some things that can elevate a writer’s connection with his or her readers that some people might struggle with and I am going to try to put to words some things I just riff.  There are also lots of things people do that push a reader away or make them skip to the next paragraph.  I’ll touch on those, as well, to the best of my abilities.

The session is relatively short (only 45 minutes), so I’ll have to be succinct and focused, but I’m also willing to be flexible and go where y’all need me to.

I’ve read that other presenters are bringing goodies (I have to bring goodies?!  Fuck.), slides, handouts, and any other number of accoutrements.  Seeing as I’m flying across a large ocean to get there, room in my luggage is scarce, so y’all just might only get me, my smile, and my words.

So, those are my plans, but I am open to what you all want to learn from me.

What were your thoughts when you read about the session?  Did you think, “Yes!  Sounds great!  Everything I want to know!”  Or did you think, “Hmm, I wonder if she’d also cover _____.”?

Let me know where you think you’re weak as a writer or what you’d like to improve upon or just give me suggestions of things you’d like for me to address.   Seeing as I’ve never done this before any insight whatsoever would be greatly appreciated!

Email me at or leave your thoughts in a comment.

Can’t wait to see you all in 10/11ish days at the Friday mixer at the Radisson!





A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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3 thoughts on “Eroticon 2016: What do you want to learn from me in my session?
  1. My thoughts on this?
    You’ll be brilliant!
    Don’t worry about the grammar and such. The attendees are not there to get an English middle school class, they want to learn from you, and you seem to be doing just fine, wouldn’t you say?
    Grammar is at its finest when it goes unnoticed. :-)
    I think if you manage to tell them how to go from “We removed our clothes and then we kissed” to the way you write, you’ll have been more than successful!

    My only piece of advice will be this: be careful, 45 minutes go by in a flash.
    Oh, and give the attendees lots of time to practice, which means probably no more than 20 minutes doing something writing related (first draft, editing, and so on).

    Most of all? Enjoy Hy!

  2. Ooh oooh, I’m not going, but your pitch is really good (and needed), and you demonstrate it beautifully in your blog.

    I’m not sure how (or if) you can pass on how you manage to write beautiful prose without sounding self conscious because THAT’S a fucking skill and a half.

    I read a lot of sex blogs and I’m immediately turned off by self awareness and reader’ awareness in writing. Where you know the writer is deliberately writing at ME, trying to manipulate me into feeling something, where instead of bringing me into THEIR headspace, they try to TELL me what I should be feeling. It feels lazy and dishonest and contrived.

    I can’t even explain it properly, so I don’t know how (or if) anyone can teach/learn it, but I know it when I read it and it makes me cringe EVERY time. It’s a self consciousness that shows a lack of confidence in writing: Instead of inviting the reader to share their experience by drawing a vivid mental picture, they TELL the reader what they should feel/think about the author, about the scenario etc without actually bringing them into it.

    There is an art in bringing together beautiful language and raw honesty while eschewing that self conscious trying-too-hard, and you do that really well.

    Yeah, so that *laugh*.

    Good luck. You’ll be great!!

    Ferns recently posted…Roping a cougarlingMy Profile

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