I miss you.

I miss all of you.  This life I once had.  Me, Hy, you, all of you.

Deep, lacerating pain singes along the pathways to the pads of my fingertips and painted toes like lit gunpowder.  The crevice where my hot blooded heart was now gapes empty and yawning.

This summer has grasped me by the ankles and wrists in two hands and twisted with no mercy, wringing every drop of me into the sea of loss below.

I am a fighter and have not given up.  My eye remains on you, on me and Hy.  My grip is strong even as I flap helplessly in the storm.

The depth of my own strength fills me with pride; others would have crumpled into an ashy heap of dried tears.  

But more than anything, I wish I had no cause for proving my Viking spirit still.  I wish it was done with me already.

I want to come back.  

With my hips gathered in painful fistfuls; with the slit of my body choking a greedy, begging face; with my cries and sobs and hot, wet, motherfucking tears welling in the shells of my ears.

I miss you.

I miss me.

I miss everything.

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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25 thoughts on “I miss you.
  1. Hy – as a longtime follower, and infrequent poster, I am sorry to hear of your struggles. As your days consume you, my advice is “don’t forget to breathe!” While it sounds simple enough, it really isn’t. There are quite a people pulling for you, and are here for you if/when you need to talk.

  2. Hy,
    While I’ve been out of the loop for quite some time now I can’t help but feel your pain. Yours is the second blog that said:”I miss you all.”
    I miss you all too.
    Your writing is still deep and oh so beautiful.
    Take care of yourself.
    And don’t forget to Breathe. Hugs!!
    Annie recently posted…Touching her in all ways but physical..My Profile

  3. So sorry to read of your pain. I’m sure all of your readers share my hope that things turn around for you very soon. Just know that all of you readers wish only good things for you.

  4. Again, beautifully written…and a great shot as well…I’m sure the view from the back ain’t bad either! ;)

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