So many friends with benefits.

“I’m here.  Tell me No if you can’t.”

I read David’s text and squealed with both fear and anticipation.

“Fuck. Ok.  Only if you’re really here,” I wrote back.

Seconds later he was through my door with his hand wrapped around my neck holding me on my tip toes, his mouth oddly gentle, his tongue soft and sweet.

My towel dropped to my feet when his fingers dug inside of me as if searching for a lost object.  My legs trembled and I gushed into his hand; my juices made a long trail down my legs to the crumpled towel below.

I hadn’t heard from David in months and we hadn’t seen each other since October.  Last year we met in April when I was still completely heartbroken over The Neighbor.  His big, fat cock and transgressive style of fucking were welcome distractions as I limped along away from TN.  However, pillow talk between us — or talk in general — was not very rewarding.

I found myself wrapped up in ridiculous arguments or defending my thoughts and feelings about personal matters.  I eventually went to some lengths to avoid such arguments, but after a disagreement about dogs of all things, I gave up even trying and accepted that we were better lovers than “friends.”

Over time our schedules intervened and we saw less and less of each other and last fall he witnessed me a hot, sobbing drunken mess.  The Soldier had stood me up that night and I’d spent a retched day with an old high school friend and being sexually harassed by him and his knuckle-dragging friend s we day drank.

David came over and pounded my pussy as hard as my heart hurt and spent and used I cried as I knelt over his splayed knees.  His cum mixed with my tears.  I was embarrassed to be so exposed in front of this big, hard man, but there was nothing for it.  It happened.

In January he texted to say his New Year’s resolution was to fuck me in the ass.  My response was something along the lines of, “Good luck with that beer can dick of yours and never seeing each other.”

We texted once or twice more this year until early last week when he reached out again and then Friday when he asked if I were home.

I have no hard feelings towards David.  That’d be like being upset with a wild animal for being wild.  Our friends with benefits relationship is one of mutual satisfaction and convenience.  It doesn’t involve sharing feelings or activities — a ridiculously boring hiking date proved that one — it’s sex and sex only.

I went to my friend’s birthday party with David’s cum dried all over my tits and when the breeze shifted it wafted up to my nostrils mixed with my perfume of hyacinth.

He came on my in great gobs because I begged him to.

After he’d licked me from top to bottom and worked me with his hand again.  After he’d pushed me forcefully to my knees and told me to lick his tight little asshole.  After I’d suckled his balls and choked on his massive piece of flesh and heard him croon, “That’s a good little slut.”  After he’d turned around and spread his cheeks for me and jerked himself as he purred at my warm, wet tongue on his hole.  And after he’d thrown me back on the bed and hitched my ankles up on his shoulders then flipped me around and wailed on my flanks as he buried himself in me.

After all of that he came on my face and tits and neck.  I slumped up onto the bed and laid there with him until it was time to get dressed for the party.

David was there for all of 30 minutes.

How different a “friend” he is than The Artist.  Though similar in age and height as David, he is worlds apart energetically and emotionally.  He’s sensitive and sweet and we have lengthy conversations about life and love and Domination and submission.  He is a neophyte dom himself and also a writer.  He wants to go to writers workshops with me and read my work.  He wants me to critique his.

I’ve resisted sharing Hy with him; he’s too loose, too wet.

Our first night together was drunken and fierce(ish).  His cock curves away from his body and when he mounted me from behind on my squeaky couch I burst into orgasm instantly.  That was his second orgasm of the night and my umpteenth.

We’ve texted consistently throughout the weeks and gone to dinner twice.  I am open with him about my other other lovers and I know of a couple of his.  I like him, though quickly learned that my sexual volume is much higher than he thinks his is.  Despite being dominant I am even more dominant; a moon in a planet’s presence.

Our hookups have been hot and quick.

There was the time he came over and though he promised to fuck me when he walked through the door we ended up chit chatting at my kitchen island for 10 minutes before he grabbed me and fucked me on the counter top.

And the other time I blew him for a minute or so and I had to choose to let him blow his wad right then or let him fuck me.  I chose the latter.

Or the other time I let him spank me until his erection returned and he jizzed all over me.

I have coached him and supported him as a friend would — I enjoy the mentoring space — and I have even spent time guiding him on what to do with his other FWB when he asked.  We are solidly “friends with benefits,” but the benefits are beginning to be in his favor, not mine.

Sunday morning he texted, “Hey I’m feeling pretty sad still and I don’t think I’ll be able to get off if we have sex. It’s up to you if you still want to hang out. I’m just not feeling up to fooling around hon.”

“What are you sad about?”

“Still bummed over that girl you know?”

“Ah, I see.  Well, as much fun as it would be to hang out with you while you’re bummed out by another woman, I’m really ok just chilling alone.”

His response was a favorite of mine:  :/

I’m not interested in being a shoulder cry on about someone else while sex is on the table.  Shoulder cry on as just friends?  Yes, 100%.  As a lover who doesn’t get fucked?  No.  That would wring me out because that doesn’t feel all that good.  There’s no benefit there; I’m just being used.

Talk to me and ask for advice about a death, a shitty boss, a bad day, bad friends, your mother and also fuck the ever-loving shit out of me?  Yes.  Complain to me about another woman and not fuck me?  No.  Absolutely not.  I expect my lovers to have their shit together.

Part of being friends with benefits is the suspended belief that we’re all we have for the time we spend together.  It allows it to be fantastic while practical and uncomplicated.

Bumping around with these two make me miss Ben in a wistful, fantasy way.  He’s been busy lately.  So, so busy.  I don’t remember the last time we spoke but the time I showed him my pussy has long since passed.

“Yes, Hy.  God, you’re so beautiful.”  I can hear the words perfectly now, like a moment frozen in time.

We talk still about a visit, but as each week goes by I have less hope.  There’s a story line for us in my mind that we will see each other for years until we no longer are willing or able.  Long distance lovers with a bond across the sea.  No one ever gets mad at each other and time and space are natural wedges between us so reunions are passionate and snorted into our bodies like so many lines of cocaine.

We become high on one another until the crash of departure.  We are perfect because we are virtual strangers and dream fuck buddies.

Our coupling at the beginning of the summer is as fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday.  I can feel his body on mine and his thick flesh pushed against me as it slid deep inside.  His timbre smooth as were his hands which rested on my hips as he pumped into me like a little stallion.

Sometimes I think we should leave well enough alone with the dream.

My other friends are virtual.  Men whose words and kindness reach through the ether.  Their voices are unknown, their scent and taste a mystery.  I don’t know the feel of their crush.  One or two want to come see me.  Less than that are welcome to.  Besides, once you close the gap and touch me it seems to become a game of loss.

How much longer until it’s run its course and the benefits are gone?  FWBs is a short game, no matter what kind it is.  It’s a filler, a distraction, a fun ride until you find the mini-van you want to buckle yourself into forever.

After all these years I’ve finally figured out that friends with benefits means truly having no expectations beyond the moment of the ride, that moment he’s inside of me.  Gah, that fucking magical moment of being filled by another human body. What a joy that is!  What a gift!

If I could I’d have a hundred friends with benefits of all kinds.  The ones only good for sex, the ones who are mooshy and eye-rolling, the ones who are dreamy and perfect and everything in between.  Men are fascinating, exhausting, thrilling creatures and I want to gather them all up and give them pats and kisses and wag my ass in front of their drooling faces.   I’ll manage any loneliness at weddings and birthdays on my own.

What I really want to do is play, to shove the biggest piece of cake in my mouth, swallow it, reach for more and wait for the next knock on my door.  I wonder who it’ll be next time.


A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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30 thoughts on “So many friends with benefits.
          1. Sorry dude….what i was trying to say is for awhile you have not posted on a Wednesday (that was the unexpected part) AND it has been awhile since you wrote about your encounters (that was the wet part)

  1. What I really want to do is play, to shove the biggest piece of cake in my mouth, swallow it, reach for more and wait for the next knock on my door. I wonder who it’ll be next time.

    Should this be considered an Open Invitation Hy with cyber RSVP’s? (wink)

      1. Hahaha… is that how you took that yummy beth? Interesting. It was a VERY open-ended question. I was actually just pointing out & supporting Hy’s positive energy and openness to “newer” experiences, as she has been blogging about the last 3-4 months, particularly her Domme side.

        My response here naturally assumes Hy even knows who I am. HAH! And it also assumes that I would want to. But to answer your implicit question — playing along? — of COURSE I know the very high improbability of fucking Hy… like I understand the high improbability of not fucking millions upon millions of women regionally, nationally, or globally. There’s not enough time in a lifetime, much less in a day, week, or year… and much less the necessary energy to ‘attempt’ at trying to “fuck” every single long-distance attraction!
        (laughing at the ridiculousness of the implied statistical & psychological presupposition of the question)

        Nevertheless yummy beth, thank you for the news bulletin. (wink)
        Professor Taboo recently posted…Protected: Memoirs of A Darker Professor – DriveMy Profile

        1. Hmmmmm…….quite a lengthy explanation (perhaps trying to draw attention away from the obvious?)…..i interpreted your first post as if Hy Does Not know who you that is the reason you (I think) often make flirtatious comments toward her……my thinking is if you and Hy did know each other, you wouldn’t use this venue to communicate…..I think this is what it boils down to…..Everyone Wants To Fuck & Lick Hy…….

          1. Ok, ok. Enough of this, Yummy. I appreciate you coming to my aide, but it’s luckily not necessary in this case.

            Prof a Taboo and I are indeed friends and I appreciate his style and cheekiness and love his open communication and ideas.

            Having said that however, if anyone openly attacks me here (slut shames me, calls me terrible names, etc) you’re more than welcome to pounce!

            Thanks for being in my corner!

          2. Yummy, you write as if you are a psychologist or psychic. It is entertaining… accurate or not. (chuckling) “Flirtatious” is ONE interpretation. Other close friends of mine might define it as significantly engaging, not interested in fluffy triviality. And though some men might have been insulted by your projection, I have no issues with it nor casual sex for the pure sake of sex; not that you’d know that about me anyway.

            You are certainly welcome to “your interpretations“. I was simply trying to politely state that my comment had multiple interpretations, and I sincerely explained the one intended. You can believe me or not; makes me no difference in the end. (wink)

            But ultimately, the ‘question’ you are raising is completely up to Hy and what she wants, as well as myself… is it not? Respectfully and honestly, how do YOU equate in Hy’s sexual life and choices, much less mine? (bigger smirk & chuckle)

            Best regards to you Yummy.

          3. Ok, Professor, I guess you missed my note to Yummy about this. Please, no more between the two of you on this. I want you both to know I can handle any comments I deem untoward (and Professor I want you to know that your comments are welcome as always!).

            Ok… moving on now! xx Hy

  2. Huh – I’ve always considered friends with benefits to be people who are my friends first and foremost, but we might have sex once in a while; if we get to a place where the sex isn’t working out, we remain friends. I use the phrase ‘fuck buddy’ to describe someone I’m just fucking and don’t have interest in hanging out with when sex isn’t involved. Do you different between the two, or use them interchangeably?
    Jo recently posted…IntertwinedMy Profile

    1. I guess where I’m from, regionally speaking, we use “FWB” for all of it. It all falls under the broader umbrella of “casual sex,” and I call all the men lovers, though not all my lovers are actual friends, if that makes sense.

  3. I truly need more friends with benefits, though I tend to go for longer relationships that I know won’t go anywhere or one night stands. Neither are very satisfying, though at least the never going relationships allow some sharing and outpouring of thoughts and explorations
    Cammies on the Floor recently posted…CoatedMy Profile

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