I’m shook.

It’s been 18 months since I invited anyone into my life via this blog, my thoughts. Without looking I want to say it was Rex, but I could be wrong. There have been so many since The Neighbor left me, so many inconsequential in and of themselves but consequential in their numbers. I have dated. I have searched.

And none have made me feel as special as I have for the past 3 weeks since meeting Elliot. I am confused and excited, nervous and biting my nails about what the outcome will be.

We can’t hang out this weekend like we’d hoped so he’s promised to make me dinner next week. Just like that, an instant solution. No one has treated me like this in recent memory, like something to valuable.

He may fade away soon if it’s a no go for us but I want to carry this feeling forward with me, this sense of being worthy and special to someone. I hope it alters me and my expectations of men going forward and I never settle for less again.

Being treated like a whole and real person has reminded me of what I am: a whole and real person.

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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7 thoughts on “I’m shook.
  1. ❤️ Oddly, I know how you feel. As much as a man can get inside of a woman’s head. Breath deep. What will be will be, but use the the time to have an adolescent crush that just about immobilizes you. Take deep pleasure in the moment that you found out that the girl you were never left.


  2. I love this post Hy!! You deserve nothing less girl!!!!! I found it after 5 years of being kissed and tossed aside by far too many toads.
    You ARE worthy! And may you never feel less than whole again. XO!!

  3. YES!!
    I’m still hoping you get a green light, but am glad that at least you got to experience what it feels like to be loved wholly.

  4. “I want to carry this feeling forward with me, this sense of being worthy and special to someone.”
    Yes, you shouldn’t settle for anything less, sweetness. You deserve to be treated like a queen!

    Rebel xox
    Marie Rebelle recently posted…Hairy ScaryMy Profile

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