I met with a friend who traveled to the mountains with me in mid September. We’ve known each other for 20 years and some of our best friends were getting married on a mountain top. While there with all of them I was near tears all weekend, not just because of the wedding, but because I was with my people. My people, you understand? Sort of like my blog people, except clothed.
It was all I could do not to open up to them all all at once, but I stayed my confession. It really wasn’t the right time. We were all basking in the love in the air, but last night, sitting across from this old friend getting a sweater I’d left behind in his rental car I was struck that the time was right. And so I did.
And guess what?? The sky didn’t fall. He didn’t even seem surprised and then began to tell me all the female friends he has who also have double lives on Patreon and how he’s helped with photo shoots and with creative recommendations.
He understood that I was just trying to piece my two sides together and I was vague with the details, but it still felt good to draw them closer.
Then I came home, made a grilled cheese sandwich, watched Frasier and slept in till 10 am. Woke up, read in bed for two hours then started cooking for the week in my handy dandy Instant Pot.
I’m about to take the dog on a hike along the river before Peter stops by then I’ll be going to a sex-positive event here in town with some peeps I know. I’ll be home early, curled on my couch with the dog where I will continue to contemplate my navel.
I’m growing tired of the double life, honestly, and I’m running out of things to say here. I wonder sometimes if it’s time to hang up my Hy hat, but then I think about losing all of you and I think No way, Jose. Just relax and you’ll get your mojo back, Hy!
Anyway, I’m not going anywhere just yet (I’m totally going to London in March), but I am thinking about giving myself a break. Setting up Boobday for a month and just going dark to see how I feel sans blog. Last time I did that A Dissolute Life Means… was born. Who knows what would come of a break this time around?
Love you guys.
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