I felt a wave of sadness tonight at dinner with my family.
That I wasn’t being adored and lusted after by my man. That my outfit was for me and no one else. That no one gave two shits if I felt that kind of special.
Then I slipped the waitress my card and made my parents feel a regular special instead.
Maybe someday it’ll be my turn to feel any kind of special.

You are special to me Hyacinth, really special, and even spatial so your inner life is fertile and diversified. I know your deep culture and your rich emotions. And then there’s your body so desirable that I like it very much.
I have always dreamed (I told you a long time ago) of a meeting with you, for a beautiful intellectual and cultural exchange, but also carnal and sexual. I still dream of it.
I think of you often. I read you all the time and I still remember the many setbacks that Hy caused to Hyacinth and I was saddened to see you sometimes sad or even lost.
I often say that I love you on Insta, but that’s the truth, I have a lot of feelings for you.
Can’t wait to see you again soon!
Rebel xox
NOT SPECIAL???!!! WERE YOU HIGH WHEN YOU WROTE THAT!!!???