Hyperventilating and pushing through.

I’ve told a handful more of real life friends about this blog.  It was during a love-fuzzy day for two friends and I felt wrapped in friendship and so was brave.

“Ladies,” I said in the crowded cafe, “in the interest of being open and deepening friendships I have something to share with you.”  And then I blabbed my own deepest and darkest secret and probably shit my pants a little.

No one was surprised – as no one has been yet – and they were all eager to be sent the URL (Hi, if any of you are reading – eek! – but I’m still gonna write like no one is reading.)  I explained why I’ve felt the need to keep it a secret and each of them admitted to their own versions of hiding their true selves from the world.  It was nice.  But I’m still queasy.

It’s a lot to bare.  And to bear.

Speaking of sticking my neck out, I’ve decided to join in the Smut Marathon again.  There’s a giant pool of starting writers (102!) which will be quickly cut down to a more manageable number by Round 3.  Last year I got knocked out in Round 2, so if I make it to 3 I’ll consider it a win.  If not, that’s ok, too.  I’m not actually that great up against “real writers” who know their grammar and whose creative tools are more sharpened.

I just slap my emotions on a page and disdain commas for effect and hope y’all like what you read.

I can’t tell you which entry is mine – but I can tell you to go vote.  You get to pick your top 3 choices and if you’re feeling really benevolent you can leave a comment with some feedback about them (and your least favorite 3).  I’ll be the one reading the comments between her fingers.

Voting is open until Friday.

My heart is open until I don’t know when.

Here I am.
February Photofest

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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6 thoughts on “Hyperventilating and pushing through.
  1. It’s cool that you opened yourself up to your close friends and they accepted it, it takes a lot of courage on your part. I will read some of the entries and vote. Good luck Hy!

  2. I truly love this. There is something horrifyingly freeing about sharing what we tend to hide. I know that FPF2019 has helped me be more comfortable with sharing pieces of myself I usually hide. Telling friends is a true way of bringing them closer. I also fear that sharing with some will edit how I write my heart. I am happy you were able to bring friends further into your inner circle. XOXO

  3. I’ve been open with everyone except workmates for awhile, but I still felt oddly (and comfortingly) anonymous when I was with W. Hard to say why – maybe because I didn’t see their faces at every event, as I do now; V and his wife are much more a part of the local scene, and so, as a result, am I. Still, there aren’t many that I have sat down with and *talked* about it, except in passing. I felt a quiver in my belly in empathy for you as I read this.

    Fab image, btw, maybe my favorite in the series so far.

  4. Such a gorgeous image, sweet Hy!

    So many people in my close circle and my colleagues know about my blog, but I am careful who I give the URL . I can totally see giving it to my closest friends, but then again they all have it as I got to know them through my blog :)

    Rebel xox

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