Coming back.

Two years ago during February Photo Fest a similar picture nearly made me cry, but I posted it anyway because it was still me.  Not “sexy,” but alive and worn in the best possible way.  It made me feel honest to a fault and closer to you all.  It also challenged me and my idea of what was allowed for my body.

This photo is similar: my silvery stretch marks form a little constellation on my hip, my pooch pools just a little in my lap, the crease in my back cuts a dark slash across the pillowy cream of my skin.

Now I’m sounding like a dessert.

And it’s real and vulnerable, a photo I might have hesitated to text to a man once upon a time, but today I wouldn’t. I’d send it with an air of defiance.  I dare you to not love this, dicknose!

The older I get the more I think about the back half of the mountain and how I want to feel in my own skin.  Strong, worthy, virile.  Nothing about looking 25 again because I’m not 25 – I’m nearly twice that age now – and because of that I have no interest in turning back the hands of time.  I’d rather clasp them in my own and do the waltz all the way to the beautiful end.


February Photofest

A 40-something single mother who writes honestly about sex, body image, D/s, relationships, her nervous tics, and how much she loves to fucking fuck. She also likes to show you her tits.

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10 thoughts on “Coming back.
  1. I don’t think it would be as hard to love our bodies if we weren’t inundated with images of what we “should” look like all the time. Our bodies are beautiful because they accomplish so much every day, and we should celebrate that. You have nothing to be sad about, anyway,dear…you are still absolutely sexy.

  2. What you see as sexy for yourself may not be what others see. I see a very sexy woman. And yes, I looked at the other and still sexy.

  3. I feel mostly the same way, as I’m on the back-half also. I’m an older man, still very active and I get the ‘You look good’ compliments as well.
    Again, it’s what you feel here. Alive, with a lot of experience to guide me.
    I like your line, ‘Strong, worthy, virile.’ Yeah, I get it, that’s’ me too, babe.
    Glad to hear from you again.

  4. Absolute perfection!! The picture as well as the words you wrote in your entry. Confidence is something im struggling with greatly right now and your entry touched my soul. Thank you soooo much!? i truely idolize you.

  5. “I have no interest in turning back the hands of time. I’d rather clasp them in my own and do the waltz all the way to the beautiful end.”

    I love this, and it’s exactly how I feel. Live for today, and acceptance of ourselves.. And just for the record, I think you look wonderful!

    Rebel xox

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