Little joys, little pains.

It’s really freeing to not give a shit. It’s also simultaneously lonely. Peter came over for an impromptu night together on Sunday. He groaned into my ear how much he loved the way I fucked. For a moment I thought of the woman he’s newly entangled with, the one he’d told me he hung out […]

Trust is as blind as love.

[Ed. Note: This was originally written in the summer of 2014 and languished in my drafts for a long time until I accidentally re-published it in February of 2016.  I kept hidden some of the uglier misgivings I had about our relationship that final year.] I don’t exactly have rave reviews for the beginnings of […]

I don’t know how to be happy.

I blinked in the sunlight that streamed through my windows and stretched like the cat who lay on my pillow purring like a crazed motorboat.  He’ll be here soon, I thought, and as if on cue, I heard the front door open and close and the cat tore off to greet our visitor. “Good morning, […]

I have a secret sex blog that won’t be secret for much longer.

Twenty-six months ago, in December of 2011, I started this blog.  I was alone, heartbroken, sexually awakened, lustful, sad, hopeful, terrified.  I was wild with passion to mask my pain and I used men and my body to slake the thirst that oozed from me morning, noon, and night.  I was quite a sight. For […]

I’ve blown my wad. I’m totally exposed.

Metaphorically speaking I’m covered in jizz.  I’ve exposed my heart and pushed the game into sudden-death overtime.  Or at least that’s what it feels like. When I told him I loved him after Christmas last year I shared it in that selfish way the guilty do when they confess: it was eating me up inside […]

I take the plunge.

In the blustering storm that is life, where all the leaves are bills and worries and exes and money and illness and the bright sky and warm sunshine are jubilation and health and bonds and friendship, there is always a center.  It’s our soul, our heart, and it can be found in purpose. My center […]

Fucking my neighbor has its drawbacks.

seeing his car knowing what he’s doing knowing what I’M doing his age the things he says – we’re going to be done in two months, he doesn’t want to date a mother, he doesn’t want stepkids, he wants bio kids, he’s always talking about meeting my young, single friends and about the hot chicks […]

Pussy trumps cock or I can’t make him cum.

To get The Neighbor to cum I have to do an elaborate dance of tension, pressure, sensuality, and stamina. It is not for the faint of heart. My neck hurts, my arms, my mouth will feel drawn and tight. But I persevere because I love him and I love his cock. The man may be […]

I whispered “I love you.”

This is about three nights, not one. Three nights that held significant blows, sweet reparations, and hair pulling frustrations; bondage and spankings; cleaning and scrubbing; apologies from both; admissions I wished I’d never heard; strawberry fields forever. Day One: He was my houseboy. He wore my gun-metal grey boy shorts — which I find hilariously […]

I get fucked for days.

Last weekend I lay wrapped in the cocoon of my lover’s arms. It was Sunday, the last night I had Peyton with me and my babe slept soundly in the room across the hall. With a warm body beneath me and an orgasm or two under my belt I sighed into the wavy love beams […]