The last time I went to England I fucked Peter the Swedish bartender. I wonder what will happen this time?

In late spring of 1999 I flew to Heathrow International Airport and took one of those funny, old-fashioned looking taxis to meet up with my family at some flat my father had rented.  It was above a pub (everything seemed to have a pub below it) and within mere hours of close proximity to everyone […]

It’s been 23 years.

This isn’t even remotely a sexy post.  My life is filled with less “sexy” these days and a lot more thinking.  I can’t find anyone I’m attracted to, first of all, and secondly, no one seems worth my time.  So I’m just going to write what’s in my heart instead. I remember standing at the […]

Friday, August 9th, is Boobday!

I continue to have my psychic tantrum on a rather large scale, but seem to be fooling everyone that I’m perfectly normal. I guess that’s good? I’ve been sad about Peter and The Golfer. Sad about Peter because that was a relationship I counted on. Sad about TG for reasons less obvious to me. But […]

See what’s in my Inbox.

First, I would like to like to say that this post is dedicated to Ferns in honor of her Day of Birth.  She is my friend, my Fairy Domme-mother, and an inspiration to us all on how to have and hold boundaries, be open and communicative, and be damn funny. Second, I would like to […]

It’s been quite the month.

I know I’ve said I’ve cleared things out of my life before, but I’ll be the first to admit I never really did.  I’d always have some hanger-on, some dude whose bad manners and nice dick lingered on the peripheries of my consciousness, but this time I have truly swept it all away. I officially […]

Tantrums.

I don’t know how else to describe what I’ve been going through except a psychic tantrum on all fronts. I feel unmoored, terrified, emboldened, devastated, excited, powerful, overwhelmed, gleeful and lost. Yeah…. It started when Pey left town with my ex for the two-week trip they usually do each year together at the end of […]

Fighting it all.

I feel tears somewhere in my throat, or maybe packed deep behind my face.  If I allowed myself to sit with my feelings they would be there, but I don’t have the time or the space.  I should be working right now, but I recognized the pull to pour it out, so here I am […]

It’s time for quiet now.

Just a few things running through my mind today: Working out for three months, moving, shopping for new furniture, my career, friends, Mens, sex and losing it, drinking, loneliness, excitement, determination, hope, warmth, longing, anger that I keep seeing my fucking ex-boyfriend everywhere I go on my apartment property, why I care that The Golfer […]

It’s time for quiet now.

Just a few things running through my mind today: Working out for three months, moving, shopping for new furniture, my career, friends, Mens, sex and losing it, drinking, loneliness, excitement, determination, hope, warmth, longing, anger that I keep seeing my fucking ex-boyfriend everywhere I go on my apartment property, why I care that The Golfer […]

Clarity.

My sister sent 2/3 of her kids out to stay with me and my folks last minute yesterday. I was in the middle of the beginning of a posh meal with an old friend and ex-lover, Zed, when my step dad asked what time I was coming over. I side stepped my assholery and killed […]