I suck at Scrabble, but rock at sobbing.

I sobbed as he bore down on me, fast and deep. My chest was icy hot and my face was burning like fire. I wept and wept and looked into his light blue eyes; one half of his face in deep shadow, the other flickered with candlelight. Our groins locked in a heated embrace, slick […]

I am on occasion plagued by mediocre sex.

On my couch, exhausted, wrapped in nothing but my new pink, silk robe I sat. The man whom I’d just fucked was likely the first person to see me in it. I looked to my right, into dark brown eyes and said with a sigh, “I love you.” Our gazes locked.  We blinked.  I felt […]


Begins: Nov 30th, 2011 I date men I could have babysitted | I am fucking my neighbor | I fuck and laugh and cry | I’m freaking out | I accidentally take screen shots | I suck at Scrabble, but rock at sobbing | I’m beautiful in firelight | There’s something wrong with me | […]

Being friends with benefits.

A friend is someone with whom you share common interests and feel safe, someone whom makes you feel right and better; a good person with a good soul with whom you’ve chosen to spend your time.  There is trust, love, camaraderie. And, simply put, a benefit is a perk.  In this case, a sexy perk. […]

I finally said NO.

I struggle with a very little word:  NO. Its power, its simplicity, its implied worth of the owner all conspire to tangle me up, but last night I managed a very polite, No Thank You to The Neighbor. This week has been an odd one for the two of us.  After the weekend he disappeared […]

A cock always makes me feel better.

An extrovert is someone who feels energized around others.  It’s not about how gregarious we are or socially suave, though we may appear that way to the less extroverted in the world.   It’s how we respond to low energy and feeling lethargic, sad or lonely.  This hard-wiring must have something to do with my […]

I’ll show you my tits.

Two days. Day 1, Wednesday night, 1:25 am: The Neighbor: I can hear you laughing on your phone Me: Haha really??  Talking with a jr high friend :) Wanna come fuck me?? TN (at the same time as the text above): I’m sleeping asap but you should stop by and get fucked tonight :-) Me: […]

I am beautiful in firelight.

The Neighbor came over tonight as hoped. He beat me yet again at Scrabble with a 48 point word. HUNG. Go figure. We laughed, we flirted. He sucked my nipples in between turns. We snuggled and watched a movie then crossed the street to buy firewood. I had it in my head to prolong the […]

I’m freaking out.

I’m all kinds of anxious today.  The Neighbor came over last night and we played Scrabble and chatted.  I was a mess: nervous, weird, odd.  I tried to explain to him about my work week — which involves FEELINGS — and it made me more a mess.  We laughed about it, I admitted I was […]

I meet friends in swanky hotel lobbies

[Update: So, nothing happened.  I mean, lots happened, but basically, it was nothing.  This is an old, dear friend with whom I have a deep connection, but I wasn’t up for it; didn’t want to be at the vortex of his guilt.] God, I miss The Neighbor.  I keep having nightmares that he’s fucking our […]