My yellow dress always gets me laid.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the man wrapped in only a white towel glaring at me in my entryway.  Apparently, Downstairs Neighbor, upon being rushed out of my apartment because I was about to get the shit fucked out of me, had hidden behind the corner and when The Neighbor had single-mindedly tried to […]


Begins: Nov 30th, 2011 I date men I could have babysitted | I am fucking my neighbor | I fuck and laugh and cry | I’m freaking out | I accidentally take screen shots | I suck at Scrabble, but rock at sobbing | I’m beautiful in firelight | There’s something wrong with me | […]

I still love him.

It’s happening again. That lurch in my chest, that belly ache.  The wild sense of fear and loneliness has somehow returned in flashes here and there.  I can’t decipher if it’s because of the year I’ve had with him or because my life has primed me for fear of loss. The funny thing is loss […]

I tripped and fell on his cock and then he called me “Sunshine.”

Sunday morning I lay in a strange bed, sunlight streaming in around us. A man lay curled up behind me, his cock buried deep inside of me, my buttocks pushed softly into his thighs. Our breathing was soft and deep. I closed my eyes and he pulled me back into him with a heavy arm. […]

I need advice about my ex-lover.

Internet Boyfriend, I need you! This will be short. I’m in my yellow dress and I’m trying to rest up before my first date with the Law Student. Here’s my question: If I decide to invite him back to my place to hang out, should I give The Neighbor a heads up? A, “Hey, I’m […]

I counted freckles.

The older I get, the more obvious it becomes that life is not black and white.  It’s not a straight path, though all lead to the same end.  The Neighbor and I made love again last night.  Or maybe we fucked.  Our groans and kisses braided together with our breath and sweat, our hands rough […]

I go on first dates with a light heart.

He called and asked if I was free. Turns out the hydrocodone had just kicked in and I had no plans. He’s sweet and kind, but may be too nervous for me. He’s smitten. My curse. Meanwhile, two other men want to meet me out tonight. Let’s see how I juggle them all. And, the […]

I made love.

“I hope we didn’t just make a mistake,” he said as I laid in his embrace. “Shh,” I answered.  “Don’t think about that right now.  I’m trying to enjoy the afterglow.” I smiled into his chest and squeezed him. He chuckled, but then was serious. “But what if I just did something really shitty?” his voice […]

I guess it feels a little weird now.

I had butterflies and little lead balls tossing around in my belly.  The Golfer kept changing his mind about where to meet him.  Country club, no, his house.   Then country club again, no, house!  I called him en route.  “You can’t keep changing your mind!  Where do you want me?”  He clearly wasn’t sober. […]

You won’t believe this.

It would appear that The Neighbor has some interesting ideas about how life is done. :: On a Wednesday evening in January of 2015 – after 3 tumultuous, passionate, empty years together – my boyfriend came over to spend the night as usual and instead asked for a break.  Two weeks later he ended things […]