I have a post I want to write called “2.66666” (you’ll see why later), but I have been running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Pey’s extracurricular activities have had me so goddamned busy it’s nuts.
Plus I’ve gotten way more baby-time because my ex went on another vacation with his wife sans children (yeah me! but also: WHAT A DICK). Who knows? Maybe I’ll write it tonight or this weekend.
The really big news is that I revealed myself to 3 whole new people (me + Hy) which brings the grand total to (I think) 5 humans on the planet who know me and have the URL.
In my attempt to open up and connect with people I’ve realized I have to actually try and the first step in all of this is to merge my two lives.
I warned them all that my boobs are everywhere and my writing is very explicit about my sex life, but they insisted they’d love to read (because they’ve always loved to read me in whatever form they could get it (mommy blog, MySpace, AngelFire??)).
I hyperventilated a little before I sent her the URL, but was equally excited that I could be this open with someone. Framily means everything to me.
My pain has waned in the last few days and I chalk it up to 3 days in a row on the treadmill with lots of core work (“lots” = not a lot, actually). My mood has lifted as a result and I’m feeling generally perkier. Pain is like a fucking fog, man. It saps you of everything.
I’m plotting ways to buy my plane ticket to London – I was *this* close this weekend, but I literally forgot. I’ve raised $600 so far towards it. I’ll be doing it this weekend so help me.
Ok, that’s the boring business side of things.
I’m still really happy with my last “real”post and Peter and I have plans for Saturday. Regardless of him not being mine, I absolutely love spending time with him. He’s good for my shriveled little soul and it’s a good amuse bouche for the real meal. Don’t worry; I know what I’m doing.
Love you all.
Oh – and one more thing – I’m kicking around the idea of doing a podcast. I’m told so many times in real life to write about my dating/sexual exploits because they’re so ridiculous. Apparently my friends find them amusing??
I’m thinking of formatting it like having a chat with a friend, but first literally drawing a word or a theme from a reader/follower that’s been submitted because I swear to god, you could stay “banana” and I’d have some kind of dating/sex story that would relate to it.
What do you guys think? Who would want to chat with me and have it in a podcast? All anonymous, of course. It would just be one woman’s account of her dating experience plus her friends’ two cents/reactions/thoughts/own stories.
Anyhoo – just some thoughts I’ve been having.
Love you all – as always.
And if my real life friends are reading this, my boobs are about 4 inches down from this line. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Love you and welcome! I’m so happy you’re here!!
My soul hurt listening to her raw, emotional story and I raged when I heard his indignant, shit-talking, how-dare-you-accuse-me-I-got-good-grades bullshit. But I am so proud of her – unbelievably proud. I could never do what she did.
Not because I’m not that brave but because I’m a “bad victim.” I’m promiscuous, I drink, I’ve done drugs, I was there willingly until I wasn’t. My double life would be discovered, I might lose my child because my ex-husband hates me, I would definitely lose my career.
And so I cried for all of that and I cried because I was reminded that none of my assaults could have ever been heard or believed. My perpetrators would all have walked, indignant just like Kavanaugh, at having been bothered to defend himself and he’d be seen and I’d stay invisible except for my bad character.
I know it’s a done deal – his appointment – but I’m hopeful this moment impacts us all for the better one way or the other.
In the mean time, I am proud to host my little power-corner for women who wear agency all over every inch of her body. No one here is in charge of us, but us. We say what, when, where, how and why. Every day, week and year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing up here with me.
My family has been here in town since the 17th. That’s 10 straight days of some intense shit. Nothing has gone wrong, in fact it’s been incredible to see my babies and family, but OMGALLTHEFAMILYVISITS.
Every day I’m over to my parents’ at least twice a day, sometimes I’m headed to the AirBnB where my sister’s family is staying, others I’m running around trying to get my own shit done with Peyton, and I’m working and trying to juggle all the other crap I typically do.
I think I may finally have a better sense of what it’s like for an introvert on a normal day. I’m not mad at the world, but I quite literally have no energy to give to anything except the thing that’s right in front of me.
That means I haven’t been writing much or texting people back. I don’t even think about it. That’s the most interesting thing. It’s just not in my brain. There’s no room! I have to admit it’s a strange sensation and clearly I’m just not busy enough in my regular life because I seem to have a lot of time on my hands to think about other people. Ha!
Peyton heads off to my ex for a two-week stint starting Sunday, though, and I will be processing the sadness of that while I’m on my own. I have a handful of dates lined up. One with a man I met years ago and went out with a time or two. Nothing happened between us, but we keep bumping into each other online so have decided to catch up. Another is with a man with a couple of other partners. He’s quite fetching. There’s a near-virgin in his mid-30s and there’s an opportunity to meet with a new potential sub, as well.
Elliot and I have not made plans, but I did see him for a long breakfast the other day. It was extremely nice to see him, but it was only just friendly from his end. I, on the other hand, had to control myself from wanting to leap into his lap.
This week has been interesting. I’ve been mostly wrapped up in my feelings surrounding what’s going on with Elliot (spoiler alert: I’m not thrilled and second-guessing a lot of what I thought was happening between us). I’ve gotten a lot of interesting feedback from I should back off and “be cool, it’s only been 8 weeks” to I have every right to expect and ask for more. As usual, there are as many opinions as there are people to give them. I’m just chillin’ about it all and pursuing others to keep me busy (and mothering and aunting and working and managing my pain and and and). I’m doing my best; I’m ok.
My piece for the Smut Relay is due in two days. I have a lot of it roughed out and I’ll put the finishing touches on it tomorrow, which I’m really looking forward to. I’ve largely been ignoring IG and Snapchat but will ramp up my presence there to begin fundraising to get back to Eroticon in 2019 because YES I AM TOTALLY GOING AGAIN. And August will be my personal challenge to comment on two blogs a day [to make up for never commenting anymore] and get reconnected with all you loves out there, my most wonderful Internet Boyfriend.
This week I have last week’s submissions since I was having technical difficulties and didn’t do Boobday. Feel free to double link your blog post from last week to this week’s! Think of all the lovely breasts!!
Oh my God how long will it take me to stop peeling?! Ugh!
And to everyone who’s given advice/admonitions, here are the details: I got burned on two separate occasions 9 days apart and both times my thorough sunblock applications failed. I’d never want to get burned!
First time I was in the sun for 2 hours, second for 3. It doesn’t take much for a girl with Northern European roots like me to get scorched and scorched I got.
Anyhoo, we’ve got lots of lovely ladies today! Jessica, a first timer, and two old timers, Mz. Hyde and Sandy. Enjoy them, my friends!
1) either submit a pic to me via email (firstname.lastname@example.org) OR
2) submit a link below to your own blog post for Boobday.
Also, just as a reminder:
If you send me a pic, be sure to tell me if you want to be anonymous or not and what your pseudonym is (if you have one or I gave you one)
Tell me why you chose the photo you sent
And don’t forget to comment on everyone’s posts! This is all about spreading the love!
NOT my tits:
Visiting my sis in Virginia.
If she only knew what I was doing while she’s off seeing clients 😂
As for why I chose this particular picture a couple of reasons really, firstly I think my boobs look curvaceous and sexy in this picture, secondly it was taken at my desk at work and I like how naughty I felt here.
A weekend in Napa 🍷 and what comes to mind?? Hmm, I need a BoobDay shot!! 😘
I used to use this blog to share my images and then Instagram entered my life. I poured all my efforts into building a follower base and grew to 50k followers in 18 months. Then the shadowbanning began in 2016 and I’ve struggled to grow ever since. It’s not that fun over there anymore.
It’s bullshit and sexist and elitist and the rules change and the algorithms change and unless you’re some kind of benign nobody or a super sex-charged celebrity you have no rights. We are the product, after all.
And so I’ve pulled away since the most recent shadowban from when I posted a text exchange with someone who wanted to buy a date with me and I cheekily said “$10,000. Maybe and only if you’re cute and no sex.” And then wrote commentary on the economics of sex and dating.
Clearly a joke, someone reported it anyway and it was removed and the shadowban started all over again. I lost 250 followers within a day and a half and 2 months later I still haven’t reclaimed them.
I don’t give a fuck anymore. I pop in, I connect a little, I leave. I made friends I hope to know forever there, my “portfolio” will live on and I will continue to curate it to some degree, but that season has passed for me. I need to be back here.
This month of writing here has reminded me how much I love this blog and all of you. I can’t wait to clear out some space and comment on everyone’s incredible Sinful Sunday images, read everything that y’all have written with me in June, and even do another Share Our Shit Saturday.
And I want to use it to share my “photography” – I have to use quotations because I’m hard pressed to call hand-held naked selfies “photography” – because this is where I can be wholly myself without fear of a reprimand and time out.
So if all goes according to my hopes and dreams, you’ll be seeing a lot more of me around here. In all ways.