It just does.
Men.
Oh, men.
Two years ago during February Photo Fest a similar picture nearly made me cry, but I posted it anyway because it was still me. Not “sexy,” but alive and worn in the best possible way. It made me feel honest to a fault and closer to you all. It also challenged me and my idea of what was allowed for my body.
This photo is similar: my silvery stretch marks form a little constellation on my hip, my pooch pools just a little in my lap, the crease in my back cuts a dark slash across the pillowy cream of my skin.
Now I’m sounding like a dessert.
And it’s real and vulnerable, a photo I might have hesitated to text to a man once upon a time, but today I wouldn’t. I’d send it with an air of defiance. I dare you to not love this, dicknose!
The older I get the more I think about the back half of the mountain and how I want to feel in my own skin. Strong, worthy, virile. Nothing about looking 25 again because I’m not 25 – I’m nearly twice that age now – and because of that I have no interest in turning back the hands of time. I’d rather clasp them in my own and do the waltz all the way to the beautiful end.
I’m in San Francisco this morning, hence my lack of getting this together last night. I fell asleep on the plane and was barely functional once at my sister’s. It’s 55º this morning and I think I’m in heaven.
Believe it or not I actually took some pics this week – for my Irish friend I’d mentioned last week. I was feelin’ it for some reason so decided to document. Who knows when I’ll feel that again.
Ok, I gotta run. Children everywhere and I have things to do.
xx
Hy
Hy
Full Boobday Guidelines here.
One of two ways to participate:
1) either submit a pic to me via email (hyacinth.jones@hotmail.com) OR
2) submit a link below to your own blog post for Boobday.
Also, just as a reminder:
If you send me a pic, be sure to tell me if you want to be anonymous or not and what your pseudonym is (if you have one or I gave you one)
Tell me why you chose the photo you sent
And don’t forget to comment on everyone’s posts! This is all about spreading the love!
My tits:
NOT my tits
A fan submission of her getting off to my pics.
Just a few things running through my mind today:
Working out for three months, moving, shopping for new furniture, my career, friends, Mens, sex and losing it, drinking, loneliness, excitement, determination, hope, warmth, longing, anger that I keep seeing my fucking ex-boyfriend everywhere I go on my apartment property, why I care that The Golfer won’t text me back and why Peter is being a dipshit, my dog might be too fat like me, how I caught two women at the party saying complimentary things about my looks so I must not be a troll, smoking again a little, the married British man trapped on a Fourth of July holiday hahaha, becoming friends with The Vet, chatting with my mom like a normal person, missing my baby who’s so far away, only one more week to go!, tomorrow is the beginning of the second half, a fresh start, that curry makes my belly ache, I can’t wait to be done with Cheers and move on to Frasier, I am both lonely and ok.
Thank you for being here with me and for me, guys. Internet Boyfriends are really the only boyfriends worth having anyway.
Just a few things running through my mind today:
Working out for three months, moving, shopping for new furniture, my career, friends, Mens, sex and losing it, drinking, loneliness, excitement, determination, hope, warmth, longing, anger that I keep seeing my fucking ex-boyfriend everywhere I go on my apartment property, why I care that The Golfer won’t text me back and why Peter is being a dipshit, my dog might be too fat like me, how I caught two women at the party saying complimentary things about my looks so I must not be a troll, smoking again a little, the married British man trapped on a Fourth of July holiday hahaha, becoming friends with The Vet, chatting with my mom like a normal person, missing my baby who’s so far away, only one more week to go!, tomorrow is the beginning of the second half, a fresh start, that curry makes my belly ache, I can’t wait to be done with Cheers and move on to Frasier, I am both lonely and ok.
Thank you for being here with me and for me, guys. Internet Boyfriends are really the only boyfriends worth having anyway.
I had the worst fucking dream last night and I wonder if it had anything to do with my last thoughts last night about clarity and boundaries. I’ll post it in a minute – it has no place here.
In other news, I bought my tickets to London! I watch fares on an app called Hopper (I highly recommend it) and use my CapitalOne Venture card for everything to earn miles. My flight is under $500 and will be erased with my reward miles I’ve earned this year. Woohoo!!
And today is the last Boobday of Every Damn Day in June! Which makes it all the more funny that I’d forgotten all about it. Again. I swear if my head weren’t attached…
Love you all!
Fucked up dream to be posted shortly…
xx
Hy
Full Boobday Guidelines here.
One of two ways to participate:
1) either submit a pic to me via email (hyacinth.jones@hotmail.com) OR
2) submit a link below to your own blog post for Boobday.
Also, just as a reminder:
If you send me a pic, be sure to tell me if you want to be anonymous or not and what your pseudonym is (if you have one or I gave you one)
Tell me why you chose the photo you sent
And don’t forget to comment on everyone’s posts! This is all about spreading the love!
My tits:
::
NOT my tits:
I thought I would submit something different than a bra picture. I’ve discovered in the past 10 years that I am a Masochist on taking pain, although not humilation. I’m grateful that I have breasts that can be enjoyed in a consensual relationship.
::
::
I woke up before dawn and took Peyton to a swim meet. I ran around for a few hours and hit my 5000 steps by 11 am. And then it was over and my ex took my baby back home to his house and I was left to my own devices.
I ran errands, got stuck in that weird Target shut down (which saved me $150, actually, so thank you, Target!), and window-shopped for hours on my phone like my life depended on it. I sorted through important life documents, did a few chores around the house, loved on the dog.
And I was thoroughly, completely bored. I mean, so bored.
But, I managed to not do a few things, too.
I didn’t prowl for men, I didn’t hit up men I already know, and I didn’t mindlessly eat or drink.
So while I was devastatingly bored, I was also busy.
Busy sitting with my discomfort, busy trying to manage my need to be around people, busy getting organized. Basically, I was busy making better choices for myself for a change.
And it’s 11:53 and I’m going to post just under the wire and day dream about London and about being like the couple I saw come home an hour ago from my perch on my balcony. She ran up behind him and wrapped her arms around him and he turned into her and kissed her even as they kept walking to their apartment. The cicadas seemed to chirp with delight at the little show of affection.
I haven’t felt that kind of abandon with someone in years, the freedom to show that kind of fairy-dust-affection and guilelessness. Maybe soon…
Shit, it’s 11:56. Better hustle!
