What a day. The Christine Blasey Ford/Brett Kavanaugh hearing had me in tears from 9 am until, well, I haven’t stopped crying since. I’ll probably cry for fucking ever.
My soul hurt listening to her raw, emotional story and I raged when I heard his indignant, shit-talking, how-dare-you-accuse-me-I-got-good-grades bullshit. But I am so proud of her – unbelievably proud. I could never do what she did.
Not because I’m not that brave but because I’m a “bad victim.” I’m promiscuous, I drink, I’ve done drugs, I was there willingly until I wasn’t. My double life would be discovered, I might lose my child because my ex-husband hates me, I would definitely lose my career.
And so I cried for all of that and I cried because I was reminded that none of my assaults could have ever been heard or believed. My perpetrators would all have walked, indignant just like Kavanaugh, at having been bothered to defend himself and he’d be seen and I’d stay invisible except for my bad character.
I know it’s a done deal – his appointment – but I’m hopeful this moment impacts us all for the better one way or the other.
In the mean time, I am proud to host my little power-corner for women who wear agency all over every inch of her body. No one here is in charge of us, but us. We say what, when, where, how and why. Every day, week and year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing up here with me.
Love you all as always.
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